Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at TAMU chapter.

Failure. I feel that most of our lives, we have grown up with the understanding that “F” means failure. BUT I am here to say that isn’t the only meaning you can draw from it… F can mean future! It can mean success. Failure doesn’t have to strip away the meaning, purpose, or future of your life! In fact, failure can be motivation or perseverance. It can be difficult to not just learn from your failures but also to “keep your head up”. I feel that there is so much stigma around the idea/concept of failure which constantly paints it as a negative thing, when really, we can gain so much from it if we just change our lens.

It is no secret that transitions such as coming to college can be daunting, demanding, and in some ways, debilitating. I came into college believing that my journey had to be defined by success, and if it wasn’t, that I had “failed”. I truly was under the impression that if my life didn’t look like a 4.0, in multiple organizations, and having time to socialize, that somehow, I had a faulty life. It wasn’t until I had a tremendous amount of self growth that I realized that those are things I can strive for, but those things shouldn’t define my life or success for that matter.

Coming back from what feels like disappointment, faults, and mistakes can feel insurmountable. BUT there is always a way. In my opinion, overcoming failures can be the best “arc” in a season of life if you just allow it to teach you. I know that for me, when I began college, I felt like a true failure. I was in a major I truly didn’t have a passion for, I mentally wasn’t in the right space, and I felt like I didn’t belong. All of those things multiplied feelings of shame and hopelessness. 

So, what did I do?

I went to therapy! Well, that is one of the things I did. Something that therapy helped me realize is that my connection with myself highly influences the way that I view my life and also the ways I am able to navigate certain situations. In the midst of a season of feeling like a failure, I felt disconnected from myself, my feelings, and my goals. With everything out of alignment, it made sinking into the deep hole of failure a lot easier. Therapy helped me reconnect with my passions, goals, and ultimately myself as a whole. I have found that when I am able to love and trust myself, that failure doesn’t seem as impossible to overcome. 

I also found joy in the mundane. I celebrated the little victories because they all matter! I think that a perspective change that helped me was being detail-oriented in the sense that every effort does count. I know that looking at the big picture can sometimes discount little acts that brought you to where you are, so my goal was to recognize those victories and allow them to be important. 

Lastly, I found trust and hope in the future. This is going to sound cliche and silly, but trusting that good will come out of failure is hard. I am not going to sit here and pretend that it’s not, but I do urge you all to not lose hope. I think that for me, that was my biggest issue. I became hopeless that my life wasn’t looking up. I find that when you give up that sense of optimism (if you will), that it becomes much more challenging to come out of that. 

The future. Unknownness. I think that my biggest advice to overcoming failure that feels untouchable is a combination of things. It’s trusting yourself. It’s trusting the future. It’s knowing that this season isn’t permanent. If I had to leave you with one thing, it would be to never lose sight of yourself and all that comes with you. Your hopes, dreams, and passions are still important even if something sets you back. 

Never underestimate your resilience!

My name is Allyson Graves, and I am from Longview, Texas. I am currently pursuing a Bachelor’s of Science in Psychology at Texas A&M University. I am involved in a research lab called the “Existential Psychology Collaboratory” and am a teaching assistant for the psychology department. I have been a part of the Texas A&M Gymnastics Club where I served as their social media officer and currently serve under The Big Event as a staff assistant. I was also able to serve as a Fish Camp Counselor summer of 2022 and summer of 2023. After graduating in May of 2025, I plan to earn my Master’s degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at an out of state institution. There, I will complete a three to four year program that will prepare me to get my license to become a therapist. I hope to open my own private practice. Outside of academics I work at the coffee shop called Dutch Bros where I am a shift lead. Previously, I worked in a psychologist’s office (Kranz Psychological Services) where I handled referrals, creating charts, and scheduling. My personal interests revolve around the education and promotion of mental health. I hope to become licensed for many therapy treatment methods and write on the side.