Things I Wish I Knew During my First Year of College

When I began college at Chico State as a freshly eighteen year old, I thought I knew everything but in reality I didn’t know half of it, and I still don’t really know much. However, there are some things that I wish that I had done differently, or wish I could go back and tell myself. Of course, I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. If I didn’t go through everything I went through, I wouldn’t have the life I have now, and I LOVE my life right now. Honestly, my journey through college has been a tough one. I feel like I have grown a lot, learned a lot, loved a lot, and lost a lot. 

It’s been such a bittersweet journey. I’m so lucky to have experienced it all— the good, the bad, and the ugly. Now, I can look back and reflect on my choices and my feelings, and see how far I’ve come. Okay, this article has really forced me to reflect & honestly, it’s made me really grateful. I’ve grown up a lot in three short years, and it’s crazy to think about how different my life will be three years from now 

My reflections have gotten me to this point. Things I wish I knew, things I wish I did differently, and advice I wish I could give myself three years ago. I hope that if there is a first year student reading this, that it helps them feel a little bit better about this incredibly hard transition to college. 

Friends are important. But don’t expect everyone to stick around. 

Friendships are really hard to maintain. Whether that be trying to stay close with your friends back home, or trying to make new friends in college. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve had to navigate so far, and it still is very prevalent to this day. A lesson I’ve had to learn the hard way was that some people aren’t meant to stay around in your life. Some people are meant to teach you a lesson, or get you through a certain time, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re going to be a lifelong friend for you. Everyone is growing up. Everyone is changing. And that is a difficult, life changing thing to comprehend, especially at 18. Coming to college, most times knowing nobody, can be really discouraging. You’re practically forced to make friends, and it can feel really scary to be alone & not really have anyone on your side. It’s, for most people, a complete change from high school. If I could go back in time, I would tell myself that it’s all going to be okay. The friends that are meant to stay are going to stay. People come and people go, but sometimes people come back. 

Going off of this friendship tangent, I also want to add that you should not be friends with people that don’t make you feel good. You deserve friends that uplift you, that are proud of you and your accomplishments, and that love you for being you. I’ve been in friendships and friend groups, especially starting college, that I didn’t feel like I could be myself in. I was walking on eggshells, and dulling down parts of myself for other people. I’ve since learned that it should never be that way. It can be hard to let go, but mental health is worth so much more. It’s okay to let people go who don’t make you feel like an incredible human being. Female friendships specifically should be empowering. We should be lifting each other up, not breaking each other down. Amazing friendships are hard to find, and I’m very lucky that I’ve found mine. 

College is different from high school, but not in ways you’d expect. 

One thing that I was super nervous about coming into college was the workload. And boy to my surprise, it was (dare I say) easier than it was in high school! I’ve taken some pretty great classes, and I’ve had professors that really push students to succeed. I’m not saying that every class has been a piece of cake, but I expected to be constantly stressed all of the time, which isn’t the case for me. I’ve always been an organized person, and being in college has really caused that side of me to flourish. I thrive with a calendar which helps me to stay on top of everything. I think starting college as a freshman, I went in with super high expectations of a rough, rigorous workload & I instead found one that I could maintain well with some good planning and a few late nights at the library! 

Everyone is homesick. 

Oh did you get that? Let me repeat that: Everyone. Is. Homesick. I genuinely thought it was only me when I was a naive eighteen year old. Even though my hometown is only a mere 1 hour, 8 minute car ride, I still felt so far away. I was having FOMO about my hometown friends & family moving on without me. It felt like I was being forgotten, even though I wasn’t. My parents missed me just as much as I missed them. Something about those first six weeks felt so incredibly lonely. Talking to my friends now after coming back this summer helped me realize two things. One, we’re all still struggling with this. And two, I’m not alone at all. This feeling is completely normal. And so many first time college students are battling with it. I will say, it has gotten slightly easier as I’ve found a friend group and have a boyfriend, but I still miss my mom, my dad, my pets, and my bed. I just wish that freshman me knew that I wasn’t weak for feeling this way and that things would get better. Because, things did get better! It can be so hard to see the end of it when you’re knee-deep in some next level sh**. 

Get involved. Talk to people. It’s not embarrassing 

I don’t know why I felt so embarrassed to talk to people when I first came to Chico. I was super shy in my classes, and not confident in any aspect of the school life. I do think that this is something that grows as time goes on, but really, I was a shell of a person back then. I went from a super bubbly, outgoing highschool student, to a quiet, sad freshman in college in a matter of weeks. If I could go back in time, I would make myself talk to more people, go to the first year structured events, join a sorority earlier, join a club, talk to my instructors, literally anything to just talk to people. Talking is good. I love when people strike up a conversation with me, whether that be coffee shop baristas or people in my classes. It makes me feel more welcomed and gain a better sense of belonging. I think if I had done this, my transition to college would have gone a lot smoother.  

Make good choices, develop good routines, and all will be fine. 

Being in college meant one thing to me— freedom. Not that my parents were ever strict, but now I was in charge of myself, which can be a pretty scary thing. I didn’t live in the dorms (I could write an entire article on this experience, but I’ll save us all the lore), so I was really in charge of myself. Cooking, cleaning, planning.. it was all on me. That is why it’s so important to have a clear head on your shoulders, and prioritize the important stuff. For me that is, taking care of myself, my family, and school. It’s important to fuel your body with good meals, fruits and veggies included. A lot of times, we forget that we are the most important people in our lives, and we need to take care of ourselves and cherish what we have. Secondly, I would never forget to text my mom a goodnight text, and facetimed them a lot to help with my loneliness. Third, I threw myself into my schoolwork to keep myself busy. The rest of the stuff after that didn’t really matter as much. Partying got old fast. I realized how bad I felt after I drank too much. I stopped watering friendships that didn’t bring me joy. Things got sad. And it took a while, but I realized “hey, this is fine”. And it’s okay for things  to just be fine. It doesn’t have to be good all the time. It  doesn’t have to be perfect. It can be fine & it’s okay to live in the fine for a while. As long as you know you will get out of it. 

I’ve learned a lot. I still have so much more to learn. But somehow, my freshman year of college feels like a lifetime ago, but also yesterday, at the same time. Here’s to me, my growth, and my last year of college!

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