When I was a senior in high school, there was a centipede on the floor of my statistics classroom. My peers scrambled around, jumping on their chairs to escape any run-ins with the strange arthropod. Thinking nothing of the matter, I simply walked over and pressed my shoe into the centipede, crushing it while adding a twist of the ankle to ensure it was dead.
Immediately after I did this, a typically reserved classmate ran out of the classroom in tears. I was confused but instantly felt terrible. I asked some of my friends in the room if they had any idea why what I did evoked such a passionate reaction. I thought perhaps she was a devout member of Jainism or maybe she just loved centipedes. She never returned to class, and I had a pit in my stomach all day.
I later found out that her father had passed away that very morning. I wanted to do anything I could to let her know that I was sorry although I did not intend to hurt her with my swift action of taking the centipede’s life. I wrote her a note apologizing for being so thoughtless but never dared to give it to her. I think about this story often, but it has weighed heavy on my mind recently.
Before this experience, grief and healing were not something I had thought about much. Like most people, I would have done anything to avoid the topics. Even when I lost people in my life, I would not share my feelings with my loved ones or anyone else. But I now realize by not talking about it, we bury ourselves in our dark thoughts and pain. When we ignore the topic, we give grief all the power and it can take over.
September is suicide prevention awareness month, and I have lost more than a few people in my life because of the fear of talking about pain and grief. Outside of my relationships, the number of lives lost around me, and in our generation is increasing. I believe this needs to be discussed, although it is incredibly difficult. This story is not meant to depress but to inspire people to think about and LIVE life differently. There is no right or easy way to do this, but it does not hurt to let people know you are there for them or to speak to someone if you are hurting. The world is always going to be a better place with you in it.
If you need to talk: 988lifeline.org is a 24/7/365 resource.
Many of us are so consumed with our own problems that we can take life for granted. We do not think of others or how our actions may affect them in ways we do not anticipate. I did not realize this when it came to my classmates in high school statistics, and I regret it. We truly never know what someone else is going through.
Talk to people, listen to people, let them know you are there for them, treat everyone with respect (not just your friends or people you think are cool) and give grace to yourself and others. We are all in this together and should remind each other as often as possible.