Since nobody else is going to say it, I will. Friendship breakups are harder than a breakup with a significant other.
I learned this the hard way. Unfortunately, while going into the fall semester I was also going through a friendship breakup. I never in a million years thought this was going to happen to us because we were best friends. We did everything together even if it was simply going to run an errand or two. Sounds cringey, but she was the yin to my yang until things just changed one day.
Now I don’t want to sit here blaming anyone or make it seem like I’m tearing anyone apart. Rather than sharing my whole experience I want to give you tips on how to recover from this sort of breakup because it is hard.
Focus on the Good
Even though this is easier said than done, during the hard times we should try and focus on the good within our lives. Instead of spending all your time dwelling over the situation or thinking about what you “could have done better” try to focus on the things you simply could not change. As a human being there are so many thing in our lives that we do not have control of and things that you can’t change no matter how badly you try to.
From my own personal experience something that helped me focus on the good is surrounding myself with a good support system. My support system includes my mom, dad, my two best friends from back at home, and my roommates. They were all there for me during this hard time whether it was giving me advice or encouraging me to stand up for myself in this toxic situation.
Allow Yourself to Grieve
Allowing yourself the proper amount of time to grieve is huge! Many of us try to hide our grief from others because maybe we feel embarrassed or ashamed or maybe you just want to ignore it all. I get it. It’s normal to feel that way, but it’s not fair to suppress our emotions and bottle it all up inside.
Talk to others. Come to realize that your emotions and your feelings are valid. This is all so, so important and all part of the process. The grieving process may differ depending on the situation and the individual so do not compare your situation to others because you may be experiencing something completely different than someone else.
Working on Yourself
Self care is the best care. When going through a breakup of any sort it is always important to put yourself first! Do yourself a favor and do something that makes you happy or will somewhat distract you from all the stress and sadness. Even if it is something as simple as going for a walk, baking your favorite sweet treat, or maybe go see a movie you’ve been wanting to watch. It is important to incorporate self care because ultimately you are the only one who can do that.
Closure
Lastly, is closure. Closure is something that even I will admit I am still struggling to find. It is honestly probably one of the most difficult things to come across in these types of situations. Deep inside you know what is best for you but letting go is difficult. Coming to terms with it all and finding that closure will be just what you need to be able to move on with your life.
The best thing that helps me is simply telling myself “everything happens for a reason”. This is a quote that if you know me, I say ALL the time. There will be times when you do not find answers or justice, but that’s okay. You’re never going to know why someone did or acted out in that way, You may say “well I would never do that to them”. Yes, because you are not them.
Friendship breakups are hard. It will be a long recovery process. Or maybe it will be short. However long it is just know everything will be okay and you’ll find the right people for you.