Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter.

I’ve always been independent. Growing up, I embodied the older-sister stereotype: bossy, stubborn and a perfectionist. Partly because of these traits, I’ve never been super outgoing and extroverted. This led me to be a somewhat closed-off kid. I had a small group of friends, but it never really stayed consistent. I was never a loner but I always kind of felt alone. 

I don’t think this was a bad thing. For one thing, learning how to be alone set me up well as I grew up. By the time I had a car, I was running all my errands alone and had started to be more financially independent as well. 

It also helped me when I moved away for college. I didn’t struggle with independence like I saw so many others do. I knew how to clean up after myself and how to organize my changing workload with school. 

Independence suited me. I was able to find my groove in the world and how to best function in it. 

So, when I moved back home after freshman year, it was quite a change of pace having to live back under my mom’s roof again. This is not to say that my mom is horrible or that she was super strict or anything, but it was a big adjustment. There was tension between my freedom and the place that held me back from that. 

Ultimately, I knew I had to move out. It was only a matter of time. I knew this. My mom knew this. 

That’s when the most perfect opportunity fell into my lap. 

My best friend Grace wanted a roommate. She rented a house in the same small Buffalo suburb as I grew up in, and she was so happy for me to move in. Rent was cheap and who doesn’t want to live with their best friend? 

So, there I was, 19, moving out of my parents’ house and not on the best of terms with my mother. 

I was finally fully independent. My mother made it clear that I was on my own. 

This scared me. The independence wasn’t new, but the knowledge that I couldn’t go back to my childhood room scared me. There were weeks this summer when all I could think about was how I was making the worst decision and ruining my life. 

Then I thought about it; I’m independent, not alone. 

I have the most amazing best friend/roommate/boss (yes, my boss at work) who is there to talk through these scary emotions with.

Grace is there to chat about how my tummy aches from the anxiety of it all. She’s there to make taco bowls with after a long week. She graciously doesn’t charge me rent while I’m at school and jobless. We sit for hours on the couch talking about everything: shitty boyfriends, how videogames are rotting young boy’s brains and so much more. I’m so lucky to have her. 

How could I be alone when I have my Grace?

And my friendship with Grace only grew when our duo turned into a trio. My sister was added to our tiny circle and has made it whole.

I can never be alone; I have Cadie, my awesome younger sister.

We haven’t always been close, but over the last few years, it’s been so beautiful to watch our relationship grow into a strong, stable friendship that holds so much love now. I love being able to have the passenger seat to her growing up and figuring out life. No one understands me quite like she does. 

While Grace is the person I can talk to about anything, I don’t have to say a single word to Cadie for her to understand. When I need a laugh or something to get my mind away from the heavier things, Cadie is always there to lighten up my life.

Not only through my connections with other people but also by coming to a deeper understanding of who I am as a person have I been able to thrive in my new independence.

It’s been a season of change for me. But now looking back I know that while I can stand on my own, my relationships with those closest to me enrich my life in ways I can’t even express. These relationships are the signs that show me that true independence doesn’t mean being alone; it means having the courage to grow alongside those who support you.

Abigail Taber is a second-year writer for the St. Bonaventure chapter of Her Campus. She enjoys writing about culture, entertainment, and the happenings in her college life. Abigail is excited to shadow the editing team this year and to be a part of such a cool organization that centers around the work and interests of women. Beyond Her Campus, Abigail is the poetry editor for the literary magazine on campus, The Laurel, a member of College Democrats, and SBU for Equality. Abigail has had her creative writing published in both her high school's and university's literary magazines. She is currently a sophomore at St. Bonaventure University, double majoring in English as well as Literary Publishing and Editing. In her free time, Abigail, or Abbey to her friends, enjoys reading, listening to music, and looking at art for her next tattoo. She is a music trivia master and a known enjoyer of any, and all, romance books. She hopes to pursue a career in publishing books in a big city. Growing up in a small suburb of Buffalo, New York, Abbey hopes to embody the city-of-good-neighbors attitude.