One of the biggest religious enigmas has now given us a look inside their daily strifes: the Mormons. Turning on the Hulu series The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, the last thing I expected was to be greeted with some quite strong advocates for what is, at its core, feminist values, being integrated into this religion that is widely accepted as one of the most conservative and restricting religions in today’s society. This new series follows a group of Utah Mormon women on Tik Tok known as “Momtok” as they work through marriage difficulties, friend group struggles, online presence, and grappling with their religious lifestyles. These women have previously been involved in a multitude of scandals (wife-swapping, cheating, one mom making a Tik Tok dance with her son who has just been admitted into the hospital, etc.), making them the perfect target for what most will assume to be a mindless reality TV show to fulfill our daily brain-rot requirements.
At the surface of this series lies superficial drama, friendship battles, and relationship strifes, but at its core it reveals true issues that are perpetuated by the Mormon church with restriction of sexuality, domestic abuse, and completely outdated gender roles which affect every aspect of these women’s lives. In particular, one of the show’s members, Jennifer Affleck, experiences constant resentment and mistreatment from her husband over her role as the money-maker in their family. Instead of speaking out against this mistreatment, she tends to let it roll over her shoulder and even at times comforts her husband for his insecurities. This type of toxic masculinity is far from unheard of in the Mormon church, and this series does an amazing job of addressing this serious issue. While Affleck has a more a tender approach to this struggle, her fellow “Momtokers” display major concerns about her and her husband’s inability to evolve within their marital gender roles and even prompt her to fight back.
Additionally, the women in this group pioneer an entirely new viewpoint of females in the Mormon church. Coining the identity of “the new generation of Mormons,” these women express their sexuality in a way that is previously unheard of in this religion. They’re speaking openly with each other about their sex lives and premarital sex and attending male stripping shows for birthdays, as well as accepting brand deals with sex toy manufacturers. For some in the Mormon church their behavior, such as doing ketamine for so-called “therapeutic” reasons and doing laughing gas for botox, may seem disrespectful and against the core values of the church (and honestly seem a bit like cheat codes), their actions and openness in conversations about sexuality, marriage struggles, and drifting from the church can also provide a safe space for young Mormons who may feel intense guilt from the church’s extremely strict guidelines.
With this show, we receive but a tiny sliver of what goes on within the Mormon church and what desperately needs addressing. However, this has barely brushed the surface of these massive, widespread issues at hand and has not come close to breaking the stigmas against women in the Mormon church. Though we can not expect these women of God to just abandon their religious values and rules, we can hope that this brings more light to the situation and causes more women to act out and speak up.