One thing I didn’t expect going from high school to college is how often people involve drinking in their activities. Maybe that’s on me. I’m sure plenty of other people would’ve assumed that — we’re talking about fresh adults who suddenly can access alcohol — but it honestly didn’t occur to me.
Though I’m sure I’m not the only person to embrace sobriety in an environment with a drinking culture, it can be isolating sometimes. Not drinking isn’t the issue for me. I’ve never felt pressured by friends or strangers, and most people don’t push for details about why I don’t drink. But, when alcohol is involved in people’s daily lives, it can be hard not to feel “othered” by my avoidance.
So, here are some ways I still participate in typical fun activities, with some slight modifications for a sober lifestyle:
What I drink
I think I’ve been obsessed with Shirley Temples for as long as I’ve been alive. And honestly? It’s for good reason. These are the mocktails of all time. I love getting one of these at a bar, especially if I’m feeling particularly self-conscious about lacking an alcoholic beverage.
I’ve also grown a bit addicted to water-flavoring drops. I tend to carry them with me in my bag. It’s nice to know that if I end up at an event with a lot of alcohol and not a lot of mixers, I won’t have to feel weird for only drinking water.
Modify Party games
One thing it’s taken me a while to learn: if we’re playing a party game that involves drinking, it’s okay to come up with alternate rules for me to use. Maybe this is self-explanatory, but I always had this fear that I’d be ruining other people’s run by wanting a way to participate that didn’t involve alcohol. Whether that’s playing with a cup of water or doing another task instead of taking a sip, I’ve learned that it’s perfectly okay to come up with a different set of rules for myself to make sure I still participate and have fun.
My Designated driver era
Everyone loves having a designated driver. With the prices of ride-sharing apps being what they are, my friends have always loved asking me for rides to places we might end up going because they’ll always know it’s safe to get in my car.
And, if someone tries to push me to drink, I’ll have an easy line to throw at them without having to tell them anything I might feel uncomfortable sharing. “Thanks, but I drove here,” works wonders, trust me.
Mindset
Unless they’re being unsafe, I’m not in the business of telling people not to drink. There’s a mindset that I have to enter as a sober person in the room. The expectations I have for others should be different. Alcohol impacts the brain, so I’d only upset myself by expecting people to act the same as they would sober.
Sometimes, being sober can feel isolating, but an avoidance of alcohol shouldn’t mean that I have to avoid all the activities that it may be involved in. I hope this article can help anyone who lives a sober life.
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