Nostalgia may be as bittersweet as it can get!
A blessing, a curse and a painful reminder that guts your stomach while simultaneously forming happy tears in your eyes. Each tear stains your face with those reminiscent memories, replaying them through your eyes and reminding you they are still a part of you – nothing can take that away. Youâre just not the same âyouâ in that exact moment anymore, which evokes a gut-wrenching feeling that contains a beautiful sophistication. This is nostalgia.
Lately, Iâve been finding it difficult to actually enjoy the current moments as my mind is consumed with how fast everything is happening. Itâs like Iâm experiencing nostalgia before the moment has even ceased. Each and every moment is so fleeting and temporary, which has been hitting my roommates and I twofold lately, especially as we all graduate sometime this school year. Youâre going to look back on this moment and miss it. You better be making the most of it.
I am living in a time that I know for a fact I will one day reminisce, despite the moments that may not seem so appealing. Dressing up for football games even without a ticket, wasting money at cafĂ©s for an overpriced latte just to talk instead of doing my schoolwork, baking cookies with my roommates just for them to turn out burnt, walking up the dreaded Bascom Hill twice a day in 85 degree weather, and having the role of a 16-credit student while balancing two jobs and trying to stay active. My best friendsâ doors are not a flight away, rather only five steps away in our overpriced college apartment that doesnât have lights on the ceilings. Man, am I going to miss this.
When my nostalgia acts up, I look through my pictures, videos, and listen to music that reminds me to take nothing for granted. âSlipping Through My Fingersâ by ABBA, âWhereâd All The Time Go?â by Dr. Dog, âSlow It Downâ by the Lumineers, âLittle Talksâ by Of Monsters and Men, âCandlesâ by Daughter, âOn the 5â by Winnetka Bowling League, and âJust a Little Whileâ by the 502s are some of my favorites amidst a nostalgic frenzy. I also take my nostalgia as a sign to say âyesâ as much as possible. Go to that coffee shop even though Iâll spend money. Have a night out with friends even though thereâs work to be done. Iâve realized my goal isnât to not feel nostalgia, rather to exasperate the feeling. Overindulge. That way, Iâll know I did everything I could in the moment to enjoy it.
I will remind myself to be extra thankful for these little moments that satiate my search for an abundance of joy, and I will be excited to experience more. I canât destroy myself wishing I would have appreciated the past more – itâs gone. There is sadness as I watch the memories slip through my fingers, but with that comes an overwhelming feeling of tranquility and thankfulness to have had such serendipitous encounters. I have moments worth clinging onto, and I will continue to make more.