“Incluso si no puedes trata.”
This is a phrase I would hear a lot as a kid. Many might not know but my mom comes from the Dominican Republic and my dad comes from El Salvador. As I grew up, I would get used to hearing double of everything or phrases like “mucho hot.” I thought it was normal to know English and Spanish because everyone I knew at that time did.
When I entered the 3rd grade my entire world view changed when I moved to Salamanca, New York. Suddenly, no one around me knew what the Dominican Republic was, let alone Spanish. I felt like a side of me was shutting down or my Hispanic heritage was disappearing. No longer did I have fresh empanadas for breakfast or wake up to my Abuela blasting Romeo Santos.
This adjustment was tough. I couldn’t fully be myself because a part of me was locked up somewhere. I felt like a fraud when I would visit my Abuela and certain phrases I used to speak no problem made me tongued tied. My favorite songs started getting more confusing to follow along to. I felt a disconnect from a life that used to be my everyday. Things only got worse when visits started getting shorter, schoolwork began stacking up and I was only able to speak Spanish on the off chance I met another Hispanic person.
During my freshman year of high school, I confided in my dad about how I felt embarrassed for being a “no sabo” kid. That’s when the phase I heard way back started making more sense to me. “Incluso si no puedes trata” which translates to “Even if you can’t, try.” My dad was right. Even though I felt like a fraud when I spoke my own language, I still had to speak. That’s how we keep traditions alive. That’s how we keep our people alive. What was stopping me from speaking Spanish to my mom or my younger sister? What was stopping me from celebrating our holidays? What was stopping me from just embracing my culture?
It’s important to never shy away from something that is a part of you! That was something I had to learn, and I’m thankful every day that I don’t anymore. This Hispanic Heritage month my family and I celebrated with traditional foods, music and dances. There’s something about being around your culture that makes you appreciate it so much more. It’s just nice to have a reminder that I come from a long line of strong women and men who all played a role in my life today. Thank you for reading and happy Hispanic heritage month!!