It feels weird typing this up on my laptop right now. Why? People are always telling me that if I talk about healing or growth, then I haven’t really healed and I haven’t really grown. I think that’s a load of b.s. Being so for real, this just feels like another example of women being silenced. I personally think that you should be able to share what you’re proud of. If you won a trophy or gold medal, you could share it and no one would silence you. Taking care of your mental state is just as valuable as a gold metal. With that being said, this is the summer that changed my life.
Just like so many others, I always had phases of “I’m gonna focus on myself” but I never really did. This was driven from an all or nothing mindset. If I couldn’t see immediate progress in my mental or physical state I would just give up and go back to how I was living. In May something just switched. Something in my brain said “make it happen”. Since then I’ve been on the fast track. While I’m not here to give advice, I’m here to share what worked for me and what turned me around as a human.
I spent the entire months of May and June completely off of social media. Not only did I become more present, I learned that I love people not knowing my every move. I would take pictures and think to myself “I don’t need to share this right now”. Keeping certain parts of my life private brings me so much peace of mind. No one needs to know where I am at every waking moment. I’ve learned to embrace the world around me and be comfortable just sitting in a room without scrolling. Not only does this ground me but it opened my eyes to the fact that not everything is detrimental. I see the world from a new lens. Side note for my pro social media stalker girlies: stalking (even in the most minute form) takes away so much of your radiant energy!! Mind your business and focus on yourself!!
If any of you follow me on Instagram, you’re probably like “ummm Riley you post all the time”. This is where things get tricky. I found a love of not being online, but I also have a love for social media marketing and I want to make a career out of it. So I implemented a balance. I have a social media limit of 30 minutes a day (most days I never use the full 30). When I am using those minutes, it’s to post content. When I post, it’s never in the moment. If I take a picture of the lake in the morning, I will post it later in the day or even the next morning so it doesn’t take away from the moment. I also never look at views or like counts. I post it and leave it. This brought me soooooo much peace of mind. I could care less who is viewing my life. I’m documenting it for me.
While documenting my life in a public way is such a beautiful creative outlet, I also enjoy documenting my life in a private way. I think that journaling is widely seen as something you do when you’re stressed or upset, but I found that journaling every night (especially nights when I’m feeling super good) has decreased the amount of stressful moments I encounter during the day. Obviously this does not completely fade bad moments (life is life), but it helps me go about them in a healthier and productive manner. My communication strategies feel strengthened (which is quite helpful since I’m a communications major). I’ve found a love for journaling in different forms. I reflect, I make lists, I track goals and progress, but my favorite is positive nightly journaling. Every night I write down things I am grateful for that happened that day. This form of journaling has made me so effortlessly mindful and it has also assisted me in being driven towards my goals.
Mental health (in my opinion) truly goes hand in hand with your physical health. In the process of taking care of your body you are showing up for yourself. So much of my self love and compassion came from taking care of my vessel. I feel so good when I eat three nutritious meals a day. It gives me energy and honestly boosts my mood. I used to hate working out because I had that all or nothing mindset that I mentioned earlier. A lot of my self compassion came from the fact that I was okay with lifting a small amount of weight. Sure enough, over time I have begun to lift so much heavier and I feel so much stronger. There can be an unhealthy balance with working out if done wrong but I have found that I love working out 3-5 times a week.
My workout time is really my escape and alone time.This brings up my next idea: BE COMFORTABLE BEING ALONE. I used to hate the idea of this. As I began to take myself on little dates and adventures this summer (runs along the beach, exploring coffee shops, afternoons of window shopping, etc), I discovered that I love having alone time. I mean you have to love being with yourself, you’re gonna be with yourself your whole life. Through being alone, I learned to sit with my thoughts and understand the way I think and process. This alone has helped me evolve so much as a human. I prioritize my alone time and honestly, sometimes i prefer it to hanging out with others.
Not only do I enjoy spending time alone, I like being alone and not having outside stimulation. In the mornings I like to go on walks past the lake on campus. This calms my mind in the morning. When I go on these walks, I do not put my airpods in. Even walking to class most times, I don’t put my airpods in. Something I learned about myself is that my subconscious mind can get easily overwhelmed by overstimulation. My brain and mental state is at so much peace when I just listen to the world around me. Honestly, it feels like such a nice cleansing break from the sounds of everyday interactions.
One more thing that I really want to touch on is the value in getting up early. This summer I slowly began getting up earlier. For the first month I began getting up at 9:00 am every day. Over time this turned into 8:30 am, then 8:00 am, and now I wake up at 7:00 am everyday. Now let me be clear, this is not everyday, girls gotta have a lazy day every once in a while. With that being said, during the weekdays when I have class, or really any days when I’m doing anything I start my day at 7:00 am in the gym and/or going for a sunrise walk. This does so so much for me. I know the thought of 7:00 am activity can be extremely daunting, but start slow if you can! Trust me, if you asked me to do this a year ago I would have rolled my eyes. Today I could not be more grateful for this change in my routine.
Honestly self growth is one of the things I could talk about for hours. This summer I became the most radiant version of myself, and I have found great pleasure in working everyday to maintain her and become my highest self. While this article was only a fraction of the things I want to yap about, I hope it gave you the push of motivation to find what works for you and what will change your life.