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A woman’s nightstand is an enigma of the modern world. Will you find a toy pegasus named Jelly Jubilee or an eight-inch jelly dildo named Jackhammer Jake? It will likely have both, along with many mystic treasures of the universe.
But legend has it some ladies are behind on the nightstand game. Some of these sacred spots hold a half-dead vibrator from senior year and four cough drops. Does this sound like you? Have you disgraced the holy feminine ground of the nightstand? Your sisters are ashamed. But don’t worry. An all-knowing nightstand witch (me) is here to help.
I started working at a sex store the day I turned 18. So you know that the 50% discount has filled my mystical nightstand. So I’m going to let you in on what I, the nightstand witch, believe every young woman should put on her nightstand shopping list.
Bags Baby
First, you’ll need some toy storage bags for your treasure trove. Gotta keep it sanitary. Jelly Jubilee and Jackhammer Jake do not need to meet. Your bags don’t have to be ruby red silk or anything crazy. Go on Amazon and blow 20 big ones on a set you’ll actually enjoy, with more than you think you need. Mine are pink, blue and yellow gingham patterns. I like having multiple colors and sizes so that I can organize. Also, consider what materials work best for your lifestyle. There are silicone storage bags that are easy to clean, softer drawstring pouches, discreet travel cases, anti-odor bags and even custom ones. But whatever your budget or lifestyle, I guarantee these are a worthwhile purchase.
Toys
Now that you’ve got the storage, you need something to store! And there is no brand I would recommend more to my college girls than plusOne. It’s affordable for your college budget and accessible at stores like Target, CVS or even Best Buy! So if the idea of going into an adult store is not your cup of tea, it’s no problem. Plus the quality is just fabulous!
If I had to recommend every woman just one toy, I would definitely go with plusOne’s private pleasure bullet. Of course, it has all the vibrator settings and it’s waterproof and rechargeable, but the biggest perk is definitely the privacy aspect. It has an attached plastic casing, so if you need to travel or you’ve got snoopy roommates, it doesn’t look like a vibe at all. You also get a lined travel bag to carry it in, so you can skip step one of this whole article.
If you want to forgo the privacy option for something slightly more affordable, everyone and their mother owns the plusOne vibrating bullet. It’s a classic for a reason.
Now if you’ve done the bullet and you want to get spicy and try something new, plusOne’s still got you covered.
The rose arouser is trending for its pulsations. Like woah. Be warned you’ll leave that experience a different woman. The dual vibrating massager is great for my g-spot girlies. And the fluttering arouser is perfect for my girls who aren’t as into vibration. It is less intense and more like oral sex.
Long story short, I’m plusOne’s biggest fan, and if you need toys, I recommend this as a one-stop shop.
The Slippery Stuff
Lubes, lotions and oils, oh my!
I think everyone needs a great water-based lube. If you don’t know, silicone lubes are more slippery, but they break down condoms and silicone toys, so your average college gal should go water-based.
PlusOne has a great water based lube for $8.99 that I think is a really solid affordable choice.
If you want to splurge on a lubricant, I am really loving the If I Say Yes lube right now. This lube is on the more expensive side, but it doubles as a lip hydrator for vulva skincare to get you feeling nice and soft. Personally, I think skincare down there is really important given how many ingrown hairs people get while shaving, so why wouldn’t we moisturize our lady bits? I also like moisturizing the skin around the vulva to help with chafing, plus you feel crazy freaking smooth. It is also vegan and has the cutest glass packaging that looks more like skincare than lube.
When it comes to oils and lotions, I would like to preface by saying these are not interchangeable with lube. I repeat: DO NOT PUT THESE IN YOUR VAGINA.
As for oils, I think everyone who gives blowjobs should try an edible lube or massage oil while doing it. Just make sure to clean that off before any vaginal intercourse.
Massage-wise, I totally prefer lotions over massage oils. Oils are so messy and tend not to smell as good. Save yourself the trouble and get a Bath and Body Works lotion for the nightstand so you can whip it out and ask for a massage next time you’ve got a hot date.
I would also recommend shea butter for great massages!
Toy Cleaner
Okay this one is not necessarily a need. But if you have roommates and you have to do a mad dash to the bathroom post masturbation to wash your toys, I would recommend keeping a few cleaning wipes or a toy cleaner in the nightstand just to make it easier on yourself.
Sexessories
Try something new and fun! Grab the handcuffs, lingerie, flavored lube or maybe a sexy novel. Stock some items that can change your sex from boring to blissful!
Protection
PSA to every college girl who is still purchasing her condoms and dental dams: the student healthcare center will give all that to you for free. Please stop wasting your money!
Go there and have them on hand. And if you need condoms, make sure to always grab a couple sizes so your hookup can’t tell you he “just doesn’t fit condoms.”
Also, make sure to grab a cheaper emergency contraceptive when you are there. It is always good to have one in the nightstand for an emergency.
Extra Chords
A woman’s second worst nightmare is a vibe dying mid-sesh. Her worst nightmare is a vibe dying mid-sesh and with a lost charging cord! Always buy extra.
Period Underwear
This one is definitely a different vibe, but I’ve had too many instances where I wake up in the middle of the night and I realize I started my period. To be able to grab a quick pair from the nightstand to slip on is a game changer on a night like that. I am rocking with the Thinx period underwear right now. Everything is surprisingly comfortable and flattering and you can definitely sleep through the night without worrying about a leak.
Nightstands are a fabulous spot to store items that maximize your pleasure! Have fun with it and make yours a treasure trove for the things that make you say “don’t stop!”