Is Your Relationship Worth the Long Distance?

Long distance relationships are a complex struggle that require more work than one may think. However, a month into freshman year, these relationships are surely dropping like flies.

Is the relationship even worth the effort? Girly, from someone who’s been doing it successfully for almost two years, here’s how to know if they’re worth your precious time. 

First of all the relationship needs to lie on a good foundation. It can not be the shallow kind of relationship that stemmed when you were both drunk at a bar. It has to be real, it has to be pure, and it has to be emotional, not all just sexual. 

Why? Because long distance is all about the emotional connection. If your relationship is purely going because there’s sexual tension… this is not for you. There are a bunch of frat boys here that would suit your needs in that department just as well. 

Second of all you both need to trust each other. They need to trust you. They should support you in all measures because they trust that they can.

And you need to allow them to do the same. The less trust there is, the more frustrations build up and the weaker the relationships become. 

But in order to trust communication needs to stay extremely high. Communication is key to any relationship, but to long distance relationships, it’s more than that. It’s a whole treasure chest. 

You’re thoughts, your concerns, your deepest feelings, you need to express it all. If you are withholding issues in fear of confrontation, it is better to just let it out. Because the more you hold it in, the more upset you get, and the more emotionally distant you become. 

Expressing your honest feelings can only make a relationship stronger. And if it doesn’t, then the relationship is not meant for you. 

Not only do you have to tell your partner when you’re upset with him, but when you are the opposite as well. You need to be the most flirty you’ve ever been. Constant compliments, constant reassurance, and a lot of love is necessary when you can’t physically touch each other.

You need to keep the spark and chemistry alive. Without the physical aspect, flirting is all you have. Be a flirt!

Additionally, you need to be both all in. If one of you has doubts, any doubts at all, do not commit to a long distance relationship. 

Look ahead, picture your life. Do you see them in it? No? Then break up with them. It is a lot of work and effort, and it is a waste of time if you do not see a future with your partner.

Not to mention, it is completely unfair to be on the fence while having someone be fully committed to you. 

If you’re not all in, break up with them.

And lastly, you have to be independent together. Being an independent person is required for long distance. If you suffer from codependency, this may not be the right choice. 

Sometimes you will go hours, even days without facetiming. You have to learn to accept it. Be independent and work on yourself with that time.

Honestly, it is healthy to live your separate lives and discuss them at the end of the day. It is simply going to avoid codependency and make your relationship much healthier. 

And just in case you were wondering, distance does in fact make the heart grow fonder. So live your own life. 

But overall, know how lucky you are to have someone willing to commit to a long distance relationship for you. It sucks and it’s painful but it is also beautiful! It is beautiful to have a bond strong enough to hold on through miles. 

Love is something so special. It is such a nice feeling to have someone committed to loving you no matter how far you are. If they check all the boxes, cherish that.

But if they don’t, say bye.

Good luck!