As a college student, finding one’s identity can be one of the most exhilarating and challenging parts of this period in our lives. This can be especially true at the start of every school year, when students are often adjusting to new classes, new living situations, and new daily schedules. And while my friends and I are adjusting to a new year of school, I am also adjusting to a new year within my faith, in alignment with the Jewish High Holidays.Â
The Jewish High Holidays typically take place in early autumn (this year, they’re in early October). This time period starts with Rosh Hashanah — when we celebrate the Jewish New Year — and then, 10 days later, it’s Yom Kippur — when we focus on atonement, reflect on our past year, and move forward into the next year.
The celebration of the High Holidays can come at an awkward time for college students. Usually falling in the beginning of the fall semester, the High Holidays pose a question to Jewish college students regarding whether or not they will abstain from going to class, studying, and doing school work. I personally choose to take two or three days off from any work so I can celebrate and pray with my friends and family; we attend services, celebrate with Jewish traditions like the shofar, and spend the days with our community.Â
It takes a lot for me to muster up the courage to tell my professors within the first week of school that I’m going to be missing class for holidays that some of them may not have even heard about. I walk up to the podium where my professor stands with a nervous flutter in my stomach as I guess whether or not I will be questioned on the importance of missing class for these days. I am always happy to explain the importance of this time of year, but I do wish there was much more awareness about the significance of the High Holidays.Â
That said, to actively choose to celebrate the High Holidays — despite the awkwardness or inconveniences they may cause — is part of what makes these days so special. It’s one of the ways that the High Holidays reminds me to be my authentic self, which is a huge focus of mine during this time of year.Â
One of my favorite stories to reflect on during the High Holidays is that of the final teachings of Rabbi Zusya, an 18th century Hasidic Rabbi who, on his deathbed, gave a final lecture to his students regarding the topic of authenticity. Zusya spoke about how he was not afraid for God to ask him why he was not like Abraham, or why he was not like Moses. Zusya was most fearful that God would ask him why he was not like Zusya — meaning, why he was not more himself. Hearing this story always sits with me for days on end. I think about the quotes in the dining hall, on my walk to lectures, on my bike ride back to my house, and as I finish up studying at night.Â
Zusya’s question of, “Why was I not more like Zusya?” drives how I reflect on my previous year and the year to come. During Rosh Hashanah, I keep this question of authenticity close to me as I make my New Year’s resolutions. I spend hours thinking about how I can be more authentic in my day-to-day life as a college student. Maybe this looks like using social media in a way that reflects who I am, and not who I’ve curated. It might look like not going out and partying every weekend if I don’t genuinely enjoy that. It could mean listening to music that I honestly enjoy instead of music I think will be perceived as cool. During Yom Kippur, which serves as the Jewish day of atonement for the past year, I spend time thinking of how I could have been more authentic in my life — how I could have spoken with genuine feeling, and admitted that I had certain feelings and wanted certain things. Every year, I try to walk away from the High Holidays with new intentions for living more authentically overall.Â
As a college student, I really appreciate having this period of reflection during a time that may otherwise feel too busy. The High Holidays help me remember who I am and who I want to be, and serve as a reminder that I’m only going to be a college student once, and I only get to live this life once. So how do I want to live it? My answer, which is the conclusion I come to at the end of every High Holiday, is that I only want to be myself.