Wash days are something I have learned to appreciate. There was a time when I didn’t care about my natural hair at all. I was jealous of those who could wake up and their hair would be ready for the day and all its windiness. During middle school I would wake up at 5:30 a.m. just to straighten my hair and watch my curls go away. It was like I was scared for people to see my natural state. Scared of how it would look but even more so if what others would think.
Growing up my mom never taught me how to manage my hair, so I never took the time to teach myself. I found it easier to not try than learn a new skill, in my defense there is so much to learn. The task of washing my hair the natural way just seemed too overwhelming to me. What shampoo do I use? What brush was I supposed to use? What is my hair type? To make it even more confusing I know now that my hair can be two types of textures at once.
Okay, it’s overwhelming. Now what? What made me decide to finally learn how to manage and later learn to love my hair? I remember this moment so vividly, but I remember the feeling like it was yesterday. I looked into the mirror and saw nothing. I did not see frizzy curls that once laid on my ears. No longer did I feel the weight of my hair on my back. I felt unrecognizable like who I was looking was a complete stranger. I knew then that I could not continue to let the opinions of others dictate who I am. But who was I? For years I had straightened my hair. I did not remember who I was at my core.
The journey of regrowing my hair was also a journey that allowed me to find myself. Who I am, what I valued, and what were my actual motives in life. Once my hair grew and I started getting comfortable with the idea of just being myself. Trying to become like everyone else was exhausting it was much easier being me. That feeling is not unique it just took me longer to realize that everyone has something others want. It took me even longer to realize that what you have is already enough. I yap about this topic a lot because I hope what I say sticks with someone who might be struggling with the same thing.
If you take anything away from the article let it be the notion that you’re enough. No matter how you view yourself or how you think others view you, that doesn’t matter in the big picture of things. What matters is that you know who you are and what you want.