Growing up is weird. Everything in your life changes as you take on new responsibilities and meet new people. Along with positive changes and additions to your life, many things will leave you, too. I wish someone would have told me how to handle the friendships ending that you thought would last forever.
It’s so hard to wrap your brain around friendships that end, even if it’s going to be positive in the long run. Recently I’ve been wishing I could just go back to high school, when things were simpler. Now, everyone’s schedules are different, old friends are scattered across the country, and people’s interests shift. Usually, there’s no real bad blood. Things just change.Â
That doesn’t make it less confusing or hard to deal with. Some things to keep in mind, are old friends leaving is just making room for new friends to step in. Everytime I’ve lost a friend or realized we are not as close as we used to be, I usually make a few more to fill in that gap, and those new friends are more suited to the new version of you. The version of you that is different than the version that met your old friends. I have begun to realize that not only did some of my old friends change a lot after starting college, but so did I. That’s not really something we can control and I don’t think it’s a bad thing.
Although watching your friends become different people can really sting, in the end it’s going to be better for you because you’ll be able to find real friends who are more aligned with your values as an adult than your values from when you were in high school or younger. That’s definitely not going to be clear at first, but it will be eventually once you experience distance. The only thing that is really going to allow you to understand why you drifted apart from your friends is time. And in that time, you’re going to be making so many new memories with your new people, exploring new interests, and working through school and your career.
Even though it sucks, growing apart from old friends is not the end of the world. Be open to joining new clubs and putting yourself out there to hopefully make new connections. Focus your time and energy into expanding your healthy friendships. It’s important to take care of yourself and figure out who you are without your friends surrounding you all the time. Do some hobbies alone – go for walks alone, read a book and learn something new, journal out your feelings. A friendship “breakup,” whether there was an altercation or it just faded out, can sometimes be harder to cope with than a romantic one, so it’s important to not only find your real support system, but also to take care of yourself.