Friends help shape the people we become. Within the saying, “You are who you surround yourself with,” lies a lot of truth.
It is necessary to remain cautious with who you select to join your circle. Especially going into college.
Freshman year, everyone goes into college eager to establish that group of friends.Â
Everyone clicks with the first people they meet, makes a group chat, and calls it your “friend group.” But, most people slowly realize that the initial people you meet are not your best friends.
So, you either get dropped, or, you get stuck. Both situations are not really desirable. Here is some advice if you are in either circumstance:
Let’s start with getting cut out of a friend group. It can be truly discouraging being only a few weeks into college and losing all your so-called “friends.”
It makes you question your worth. And it really does not start college off on a good key. However, it does get better.
First, you have to recognize that there is nothing wrong with you. We go our whole high school years having built-in friends from childhood. And all of a sudden, we’re in a place where we have none. You are not going to find your people in your first week.
But, my advice for you is do not beg someone to be friends with you. If that group did not see your worth, let them go. The only way to achieve good friends is to not cling to bad ones.
They will probably end up crawling back to you, anyway. Don’t let them.
It can be discouraging but you have to keep your head up and continue putting yourself out there. Just because a certain group does not click with you, does not mean no one will. Keep trying.
Now, if you are still stuck in a group that is not right for you, leave.
Take a step back and look at your group. Do they inspire you to better yourself? Do they exemplify agreeable morals and attitudes you wish to have?
Or, are they changing who you are? Are they slowly pushing you in the wrong direction? Do you feel emotionally drained around them?
This is important to evaluate. A lot of people go down the wrong path because the people around them drive them there. They realize too late that they can get out of that car.
If you’re scared, recognize that you are wasting time. You are at a school with 40,000 people. You’re losing the time that you could be meeting so many amazing friends.
Slowly distance yourself. Do not make it a huge deal. Be mature, be respectful but distance.
It may be awkward. In the end, a little awkwardness overrides a long time of unhappiness.Â
Overall, college is your time to prioritize you. You have to focus, figure out your future and surround yourself with people who help you do so.
Try your best to pay attention to who really is lifting you up. And, who truly is weighing you down?
You know you best.
If your friends are not benefiting you, leave them. If they leave you, you will find the ones who will.
Be picky. Keep your friendship standards high and do not settle for any less than you deserve.
College is tough, but it is even tougher if you do not prioritize your needs. You need positive influence to be successful.
It is not wrong to do what is best for you, it is necessary. Recognize your worth and do not plead for anyone else to.
You got this!