Maybe you’re in class and overhear a peer discussing their new glorious internship. Perhaps you’re scrolling through social media late at night and see a “day in the life” video that looks so perfect you wonder how someone can live such a well-balanced life. It’s a feeling many of us know all too well.
Comparison.Â
The ever-increasing presence of social media in everyday life has made it even more difficult to avoid seeing things that may trigger an avalanche of “that should be me” emotions. It can be hard to look away from the posts that share this “idealized” lifestyle, flaunting perfect grades, working out for hours a day, eating healthy meals and landing the perfect post-grad job.Â
We’ve all heard the phrase, “Comparison is the thief of all joy” a thousand times. Still, it can be hard to break free from this mentality whether we are aware that it’s happening or not.Â
Here are a few steps I take in my personal life to help avoid getting stuck in an endless loop of comparison and resentment.Â
Know when to put the phone down.
In my life, I have always seen a direct correlation between the amount of time I spend on social media and how much I compare myself to others.
When I spend hours looking at “day in my life” videos or photo dumps on Instagram, I can start to feel like I’m falling behind my peers. I see videos of girls my age balancing a 2-hour workout class, cooking well-balanced meals, studying for an hour, going to work and somehow still having time to hang with friends.Â
It is important to note that those videos and posts are highlighting only the best days. I’m sure those people also have days where they spend hours rotting in bed, eating junk food and binge-watching TV shows.Â
It’s been said a million times, but it’s important to shut the screens off every once in a while and give yourself some grace.Â
Focus on your own strengths.
It’s important to remember that everyone has things they are better at than others. Maybe taking exams comes easy to you, but writing papers isn’t really your thing.Â
Focus your energy on the things that you are good at, and remind yourself that you have certain strengths that make you stand out from your peers. There will always be things that come easier to you than those around you.Â
When you focus on your strengths you can channel that energy into projects and work you are passionate about, resulting in better work.
It can be super easy to get caught up in the things that we are not great at, often forgetting the things we excel in.
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Set goals for yourself.
Sometimes we can get so tied up in comparing ourselves to the things that people our age are accomplishing that we forget that those accomplishments might not even be what we’re striving for.Â
I feel like sometimes I’ll hear about a peer getting a prestigious internship opportunity, and immediately feel like I’m behind or unsuccessful. However, it’s important to look inward and think about what you actually want for yourself and for your life.Â
Maybe that internship doesn’t really fit your future career path or maybe you don’t want to prioritize going to the gym for two hours a day. Yet, when you see those around you doing those things and looking so happy, it can be hard to stay on track.
It’s important to set personal goals for ourselves and instead focus inward on those, working to achieve the things we actually want. There’s no sense in comparing ourselves to those who are not even working towards the same things we are.Â
There is more long-term success found in internal motivation, rather than being motivated by jealousy or resentment.Â
At the end of the day, it is important to remember all the wonderful things you have accomplished in your life, even if it may look different from your peers.Â
Getting caught up in always watching what others are doing can make us lose sight of what we have achieved. Writing these things down can make for a good reminder for when you feel down, and find yourself stuck in a loop.Â
The best measure of success is found within ourselves, not the standards of those around us.