Embracing My Voice

Growing up, I loved talking. Telling my stories was one of my favorite things to do. I loved words, but there are a few that I always had a particular distaste for. These words included, chicken, cheese, change, charge, chat, jump, just, and even my own name, Julia. 

Linking these words together, you can find a similarity that they all share. They all start with a similar sound formed by a CH or a J.

Anytime I stumbled upon one of these sounds I internally cringed, hoping somehow the word would come out right. In that one millisecond, I felt the entire world turn their eyes to me hearing my unmistakable lisp.

There are many theories about why I developed one, but my lisp has always been there. My parents almost sent me to speech therapy for it as a kid, but decided against it because it was not that bad.

To be fair, there are people who don’t notice it, and times it does not come out. In all, it could be a lot worse, but I always noticed.

It was something that I used to not talk about a lot, partially because I didn’t know how to describe it, and partially because I was embarrassed of it. I never wanted to ask anyone why I sounded that way because I never wanted to think about the fact that I did.

I finally discovered what this strange sound was in high school, I have a lateral lisp. A lateral lisp is not what you typically think of when you imagine a lisp. When someone has a lateral lisp, they struggle with where the air exits their mouth when they speak. Instead of talking out front, my words sometimes come out of the sides of my mouth. 

My difficult sounds have always been anything with a TH, J, or G. I used to try and find ways to work around saying these letters, so they didn’t affect my speech, but slowly I learned how to control it.

Now that I know what it is that affects my speech, I can think through the way I talk and focus my attention on forming the words correctly in my mouth. Miraculously this has worked.

I have gotten to a point in my life where I don’t think about my lisp every day. It is still there, and it still comes out, but I have learned to control it to the point it is starting to become natural. 

I can look back on videos of my speaking even two years ago and cringe at the sounds I made but smile when I see how far I have come. I am proud that I was able to reach a point where I feel comfortable not only talking in front of people but hosting a radio show where the only thing people hear is my voice.

I can now say that I am proud of my lisp. It is something that makes me unique and something that I was able to overcome.

Sometimes we have challenges in life that bear down on us, to the point we choose to hide away, but sometimes these are the challenges that can bring us the most joy. 

I will never hide my voice again because I don’t like the way some words sound. In fact, I like the way most words sound, and instead of focusing on the bad, I will show off the good. I love public speaking, and working with people is something I want to do in my future despite my battle with my lisp. 

This is just one of the many things that I will use to raise me up instead of bringing me back down.

• entertainment
• lateral lisp
• lisp
• speach
• talk
• words