As if Lizzy McAlpine’s third album Older wasn’t enough of a punch to the gut last April, the indie folk singer and wordsmith released the deluxe version at the end of September, offering sentimental and introspective listeners five additional tracks. Each song offers a glimpse into the difficulty of maturity and self-discovery, and we’ll explore how McAlpine captures the essence of growing older, navigating relationships, and embracing vulnerability through her artistry.
Track #1 “Method Acting (Demo)”
“Method Acting (Demo)” opens the deluxe tracklist with a sorrowful narrative similar to McAlpine’s “You Forced Me To” and “Broken Glass,” both of which illustrate a past relationship where her partner holds onto unjustified commitment to her, even after she hurts him. The song reveals a distant feeling of guilt within McAlpine, as she struggles to understand why her partner still shows love for her when she has not reciprocated. Hence the title “Method Acting,” McAlpine conveys the struggle to be genuine in relationships, whether it is the incapability of showing love, or the incapability of letting go when you feel unloved. The rawness of her voice with the instrumentals in this unpolished demo enhance the song’s authenticity.
Track #2 “Pushing it Down and Praying”
McAlpine’s song “Pushing it Down and Praying” (Claudia’s personal favorite) was released on Sep. 20 of this year, two weeks before the rest of the new tracks on her deluxe version of Older. The song weaves together themes of emotional suppression and vulnerability through beautiful but heart-wrenching melodies. The soft instrumentals paired with emotional lyrics create an intimate atmosphere where McAlpine describes a physical relationship she is in with one person while mentally and emotionally yearning for someone else. She captures the duplexity of guilt and confusion as she struggles with her inner desires and how this emotional betrayal might affect her relationship.
It isn’t until about halfway through the track that a resounding beat drops during the second verse and into the chorus, embodying the friction between the comfort of stability and the lure toward deeper emotional fulfillment. (“I wanna feel guilty / I wanna feel that it’s wrong / I wanna know peace again / Wanna sing a different song”).
Track #3 “Soccer Practice”
“Soccer Practice” depicts the nature of fantasizing about and longing for a life with someone that you know you can’t have. The song opens with four lines that express a scenario in which McAlpine is singing to her significant other about their superficially perfect life together. (“You pick up the kids from soccer practice / I wait in line at the grocery store / You sing them to sleep, what else do we need? / You’re always sober, I’m always sure”). The raw guitar picking and soft vocals work together to illustrate a dreamy fantasy. However, this “perfect” life is very quickly proven to be just a reverie in the next verse, where McAlpine dwells on the fact that they “could’ve had it” but it never would have worked due to her internal struggles. The rest of the song, which relies on an increasingly wistful and sorrowful tune, goes on to express how this temporary relationship never could have bloomed into something that lasted. The song captures the pain of striving to justify the incapability of letting go.
Track #4 “Force of Nature”
“Force of Nature” (Sydney’s personal favorite) bears a similarity to “Movie Star” in the way it opens: “Who am I if not your lover?” suggests McAlpine is having difficulty conceptualizing herself outside of a particular relationship, and one that she possibly ruined. Though a lot more blame-centric and a lot less lovestruck, this track picks up where Taylor Swift left off with “Invisible String,” offering a throughline of fate.
It’s possible that the person McAlpine’s singing to possesses the same faults. In a (polite and curious) callout, she finishes this track with the question, “Who are you now that you’re all alone?”. Maybe both parties are struggling with their sense of self now, or maybe McAlpine is seeking some sort of validation in posing the same question she’s having difficulty answering. How could this person possibly be complete, or have returned wholly to a past version of themself, unscathed?
Track #5 “Spring Into Summer”
“Spring Into Summer,” a classic sad song disguised by bright, cheery production, concludes the album with an uneasy flourish. In this track, McAlpine relies on her typical acoustic tenderness to detail a resistance to time moving. Between springing into summer and returning to fall, she acknowledges how much she misses somebody after she played a role in their relationship’s downfall and its irreparability (similar to “Force of Nature”). In the bridge, she admits, “If I could jump into the past, I’d only change one thing / I’d never hurt you first, I’d never let you leave.”
Like all devastating album closers (see also “hope ur ok” by Olivia Rodrigo or “New Year’s Day” by Taylor Swift), this song hinges on a wish. McAlpine convinces herself that if she just “turns around,” this person will be running back to her. In the thick of a long, cinematic, choral outro, we’re left wondering if that’s true.
Sydney’s final ranking:
1: “Force of Nature”
2: “Spring Into Summer”
3: “Soccer Practice”
4: “Method Acting”
5: “Pushing it Down and Praying”
Claudia’s final ranking:
1: “Pushing it Down and Praying”
2: “Force of Nature”
3: “Soccer Practice”
4: “Method Acting”
5: “Spring Into Summer”