I loved watching Charmed growing up, and I always held on to one piece of relationship advice given by Phoebe Halliwell, played by Alyssa Milano. She said that she didn’t kiss before the third date.
I talked about this concept with my mom, who was getting ready for a date with a guy. She said the idea was silly. I asked her how many dates she had been on with him, and she said she was getting ready for their third date. They hadn’t kissed yet.
When she came home, she admitted that the idea actually wasn’t silly, as they had their first kiss on that date. That was eight years ago and that guy is now my stepdad.
Even if you don’t wait for the third date to kiss someone, there is merit in waiting until the third date before making things serious. I have made a guide that I highly recommend to others on the types of dates you should have with someone before committing.
- 1st Date: The Relaxed Date
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Whether you’ve known someone for a while or are just meeting someone you’ve been talking to online, the first date should be light and easy. The purpose of this date is to get to know the person and whether you want to continue seeing them.
I recommend going somewhere in public during the day, especially if this is your first meeting. Eating lunch, getting coffee, or getting a sweet treat would be the kind of date that I would recommend for the first outing.
There are also a couple of first date don’ts to be aware of:
Don’t let them drive and pick you up for the date. Driving yourself allows you to leave if you need to and not deal with an awkward car ride back home if the date goes poorly. If the date went bad, at least they won’t know where you live.
Don’t go to the movies. If you do, you will not be able to talk and get to know your date, which is what the first date should mainly be about.
Don’t let them pay for you. Letting your date pay for you could make you feel obligated to owe them something in return. If the date went poorly, you shouldn’t feel you owe them a second date simply because they paid for you. However, if the date went well and they want to pay, offer to let them cover you the next time you go out.
- 2nd Date: The Fun Date
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The second date is when you want to do an activity to learn more about your partner’s personality. Some ideas for this date include going mini-golfing, bowling, or hiking. You could also visit an arcade or go on a picnic!
This is when you and your date’s interests should shine through. If you are competitive like me, this is the perfect time to see if your date can handle that and reciprocate the energy.
A movie date is also a good second-date option. I believe watching a movie as a second date could be a good way to see if you can handle being around that person and enjoy their company, even if you’re not talking.
/ Unsplash - 3rd Date: The Romantic Date
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If you and your special person have made it to date three, then there’s a good chance you really like each other and enjoy each other’s company. If this is the date you make it official, then you want it to be memorable. You could go to dinner, walk on the beach, or do something sentimental. Be sure to dress nice for the pictures!
My three date rules are merely suggestions and things to remember when dating for a serious, long-term relationship. Everyone’s relationships differ, so change these recommendations to fit you and your situation. These things worked for me when I got into the relationship I’m in now, and I hope they work for you as well. Remember to stay safe and have fun!