I remember growing up with an idyllic plan of the life ahead of me, but as I’ve matured, I’ve come across these “milestones” and feel my child-self’s perplexity. This isn’t to say I don’t live a life that I am proud of and grateful for; what’s stunning is that age brings clarity. As I’ve entered into my sophomore year of college I’ve become more aware of the changes in my life. They’re glaring exposures into adulthood, and I’m growing out of my younger self.
Having a place of my own, decorated and curated to my desire, has always been a dream of mine since I was younger. At the time, it seemed pivotal –- now that I’ve started looking for and touring apartments for next year and it’s become a reality, my perspective has changed. I’m just as excited about this “first” as I was when I was younger, but as I’ve been so kindly reminded throughout my life, the adult world is complicated. Never had I imagined the process of planning life a year ahead or signing a lease when I was younger. Now that I have started to do those things, I experience the complexities and the mixed emotions that follow. Unfortunately, a Barbie Dreamhouse is impossible to find in the area and immensely over my student budget. Despite that, I enjoy browsing through apartment photos and get excited at the thought of the outcome. In doing so, however, I’ve had to limit my selections to fit my reality and continue to make challenging decisions every day. But for each of those challenges, there is a reward.
What I can say is that so far, this process has been fun and exciting! It can be a difficult load to manage, but that’s mostly because it’s new to us. We’re “babies” in the adult world, and we’re learning these things as they happen. What usually ends up happening is that everyone knows this too! So while it may initially seem scary, your fear subsides when things start unraveling.Â
While those were the more revealing moments to me, they aren’t the only ones. Whether it be the abundant breeze of Western Massachusetts or a better sense of my establishment, I’m putting together the puzzle to my future career and goals. Since laying my foundation last year, I feel there are more opportunities to make achievements at a pre-professional level.
I’m getting a taste of what being an adult is like without full commitment. It’s a privilege, to say the least, and I’m so grateful that I’m able to have this sort of experience despite my childhood dream.Â
Can’t get enough of HC UMass Amherst? Be sure to follow us on Instagram, listen to us on Spotify, like us on Facebook, and read our latest Tweets!