Stepping onto UF’s campus is a dream come true for many. But amidst the excitement, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. One minute you’re proud of yourself for making it here, and the next, you feel like the smallest fish in a huge pond. This rude awakening happens to many students, both male and female, but for a lot of girls, the comparisons run deeper. With so many smart, gorgeous and successful women around, it’s easy to start feeling like you don’t measure up. I’ll never forget the shock I felt during my first week at UF. I was talking to one of the most beautiful girls I had ever met (think of a Barbie doll) and found out how she was feeling. As we talked, she started opening up about how insecure she was and how much she compared herself to every other girl she saw. I was so confused because I couldn’t imagine one thing that this girl didn’t like about herself. I remember thinking that if someone like her felt that way, where did that leave me? The truth is, everyone has moments where they feel “less than,” especially in a place like UF. If you’re feeling like you don’t quite stack up or that everyone else is ahead of you, just know you’re not alone. Let’s dive into the emotional side of these comparisons and explore how you can embrace your unique strengths.
The Pressure to Compare
One of the biggest hurdles to overcome is the constant urge to compare yourself to others. Whether you’re scrolling through Instagram, sitting in a lecture hall or even just walking through campus, it can feel like everyone around you has it all figured out. The girl who seems to effortlessly balance a perfect GPA, looking perfect all the time and a packed social life can leave you wondering, “Why can’t I be like that?” But here’s the thing: the surface only tells part of the story. Just because someone looks like they have it all together doesn’t mean they don’t have their own insecurities. We often compare our behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel, and it’s unfair to measure yourself against someone else’s outward appearance or accomplishments.
Comparison is the Thief of Joy
I’m going to give you a silly anecdote about comparison, but bear with me. About a week ago, I was talking to my friend and she was telling me about a conversation she had with this boy she was seeing. He’s one of those wannabe Patrick Bateman types — you know, uses the gua sha, skincare, goes the whole nine yards. Anyways, he started going off about “looksmaxing” and how he wished he had this celebrity’s genetics etc. After listening to his ridiculous, chronically online rant, my friend just hit him with “comparison is the thief of joy!” When she told me, I couldn’t stop laughing, thinking how I would’ve died listening to all that. But now, looking back, I realize that even though what he was saying was so chronically online, me and my friends do the same thing, just in different ways. Isn’t it just the same to stand in front of the mirror and pick yourself apart because you don’t look like a super skinny yet curvy, perfectly tanned, flawless version of yourself? Now, when I catch myself starting to compare myself to unrealistic standards, I think about how icky I thought my friend’s guy was, hear her voice taunting “comparison is the thief of joy” and snap out of it.
Embracing Your Own Unique Qualities
Rather than focusing on what you think you’re lacking, try shifting the spotlight to what makes you, you. Each of us has a unique blend of talents, passions and traits that can’t be replicated. Maybe you’re a creative genius, or perhaps your strength lies in how deeply you care for others. Those qualities are just as valuable as any accolade or appearance. Learning to embrace your individuality means accepting that no one is perfect. Everyone is a work in progress. By celebrating your own strengths and letting go of unrealistic standards, you’ll start to realize that you have so much to offer, just as you are.
Here are some tips to help break free from comparison.
Managing Comparison and Insecurity
First, try limiting your social media time. It’s way too easy to get caught up in everyone else’s highlight reels, so if scrolling leaves you feeling down, step away and focus on what makes you feel good. Next, make sure you’re surrounding yourself with positivity — spend time with friends who build you up, and ditch conversations that tear others down. And don’t forget to celebrate your small wins! Whether you survived a tough class or treated yourself to some well-deserved self-care, those little victories matter. Lastly, focus on growth, not perfection. Life’s all about progress, so give yourself credit for how far you’ve come instead of stressing over where you think you should be.
The Self Care Night to Get You Out of a Slump
Sometimes when all else fails, you just need a really good self-care night so that you wake up feeling refreshed in the morning. Being in college can be really hectic and overwhelming, and we all eventually need to take a breather so we don’t feel lost in the chaos. For me, this night centers around the beloved “everything” shower.
- Prepping for the “everything” shower: This is when you will be feeling your grossest, but trust me it’s worth it. What I like to do is oil my hair or use a hair mask, put on a face mask and do my eyebrows. At this stage I look really crazy, but the end justifies the means. At this point, you can clean your room or make your bed; small things like that can make a big difference when your life is feeling like a disaster. If you’re up for it, maybe do some laundry so you can feel extra productive.
- The Everything Shower: When I really feel like I need a reset I need the most intense “everything” shower. I’m talking about the kind of shower where you’re huffing and puffing and scrubbing your skin raw. Don’t hurt yourself, but try to pull out all the stops. The point is to walk out of those bathrooms feeling like you defeated the everything shower final boss.
- Post Everything Shower: I like to do a lot of skincare and fake tan, so that when I wake up in the morning I feel amazing. At this point I like to be in my robe, watching something fun like Sex and the City, maybe having a sweet treat and enjoying myself after the hell I just went through in the bathroom.
- Relax Your mind: Self care is not just about the physical. While taking care of our physical appearance is important and will help us feel better, the whole point of this night is to let your mind unwind. Do something that makes you happy. It could be reading a book, listening to music or watching a show. Just let yourself be present and happy hanging out with yourself.
At the end of the day, it is important to remember that the only person who can always be there for you is you. Think about the way you look at the people you love, and strive to look at yourself that way. Taking care of yourself is so important, so never feel bad when you need a little me-time.