I’m not sure how much longer I can tolerate misogynistic behavior. How much longer must we deal with people’s lack of awareness with the things they say?
For far too long, I have been “shamed”, for lack of a better word, for my beliefs in feminism. So much so, that when I meet people and express my feminist viewpoints, I genuinely don’t stress if someone chooses not to like me, because I know my strong beliefs are too much for most people to handle.
But why is it that the simple belief in equal rights is considered strong? Why do people immediately choose not to talk to me because they know something they say might set me off? I find it truly baffling that we as a society would rather excuse someone from avoiding a feminist conversation rather than make that person recognize that what they said was hurtful.
Let me explain, I’m sure most of you out there, whether identifying as female, nonbinary, male, black, hispanic, or literally any other group, have dealt with some sort of oppression or disrespect. This could be something as far as blatant racism, or more subtle like the unwanted stares from people as you cross the street. It’s no secret this has been an issue that society has faced for decades, if not centuries, but just when most of us think it’s getting better, someone has to say/do something that starts us right where we left off.
For example, I’ve had several friends that I’ve found myself constantly explaining to them how their words have struck a nerve with me. Identifying as a woman specifically, the way people say certain things, with negative intention or not, will always stand out.
Me: “Let’s go to the basketball game!”
Them: “Nah, I don’t want to have to explain how everything works.”
Me: “Yeah, I think I pulled something in the gym last week.”
Them: “You were probably just doing something wrong. Here, let me show you.”
Me: “I have an idea, lets do–
Them: “I have an idea, lets do– *says exactly what I just said*”
Me: [Head of a project with all the information] “Here’s what we’re doing”
Them: *Remains eye contact with and asks all questions to a man who is not involved… the entire time*
It might seem subtle or unintentional, which hey, I understand. But in order for us to make a change, these words need to be addressed.
I can never tell if this person is intentionally trying to belittle me because of my gender, or if they truly don’t recognize the strength of their words. Regardless, it has become incredibly overwhelming to act like these passive aggressive conversations don’t bother me.
When will we be taken seriously? When will conversations stop being stigmatized?
It is not my job to educate ignorant people. It’s also not my job to fit societal standards silently. These words are subtle, but sting, just reminding me of all the conforming pressures implemented upon women and minorities. Despite my advocacy being mistaken for aggression, I will gladly deal with whatever implications follow from teaching people about equality.