As college students who are just stepping into the world of adult dating, it can be an overwhelming and nerve-wracking experience. Living in a post-covid society, we’ve kind of forgotten what it’s like to socialize and cultivate in-person relationships. Most aspects of our lives have transferred onto online experiences.
Dating is one of those experiences. This article will help guide you through what you should and should not do in online dating. Hopefully, this helps make your online dating experience more safe and enjoyable.
Do: Make Your Intentions Clear
Are you looking for a relationship? A fling? A friend-with-benefit type of situation? Not sure? That’s all okay! As long as you put your intentions on your profile, it will attract people who are probably interested in the same end goals as you are. You want to make sure you’re being upfront with what you want. That way, nobody is getting their feelings hurt. Also, that way you’re filtering results that help you find exactly what kind of situation you are looking for.
DO: Evaluate the Photos You Are Sharing/Are Being Shared With You
There is a famous saying, “A picture is worth a thousand words.” This saying proves to be true when it comes to dating apps. The photos you share give a glimpse of who you are and what you’re looking for. As much as a thirst trap slays, it might not attract the right kind of person if you’re looking for a relationship.
Same goes for the photos you see. There’s a high chance the guy posting a ton of photos with guns and memes about hating women isn’t going to be the respectful boyfriend you deserve. Use your best judgment.
DO: Talk to People Like They’re Your Friends
Talking to someone you are interested in can be anxiety-inducing. Sometimes, people can feel pressured to act a certain way to appear more likable. Or people will try to force a connection or pretend to have things in common. All you are doing is creating a disservice to yourself.
The right person will just feel authentic and natural. You won’t have to change anything about yourself. Pretend like this person is just your friend. If the vibe isn’t there, then it’s just not. On to the next! A good match will feel like you’re just chatting with one of your best friends.
DO: Check Verification
Make sure whoever you are talking to is verified by the app. This feature is installed in order to make sure the person is real. You don’t want to end up in an unsafe situation. You want to make sure you know who you are really talking to. Better safe than sorry!
DO: Take Risks
Be willing to go out of your comfort zone. Make some moves! Go on that date! Give out your number! As long as you are being safe, you should make the most of your online dating experience. You only live once. As long as you are single, you should have fun and get to know what you like. Chances are, you are your own biggest obstacle. Step out of your own way!
DON’T: Talk to Someone Whose Profile is Overtly Sexually Suggestive
We’re all about sexual liberation here. However, if someone’s main prompt is something along the lines of “what is your favorite sexual position” or “I like kinky girls”; RUN. It is very likely that these types of people are objectifiers, and they will not treat you with respect. It is also very likely that people with this kind of behavior are not practicing safe sex. It’s more than okay to want a one-night stand or a friend with benefits! But make sure you arrange that with somebody who is promoting safe behavior and respectful conversations.
DON’T: Ignore Gut Feelings
If something doesn’t feel right to you, don’t do it. Dating should be comfortable and fun. Any weird or uncomfortable feelings might be your instinct kicking in for a good reason. Block or Unmatch anyone that doesn’t give you a good vibe. Part of online dating is trial and tribulation. Your gut feeling is always there to help you navigate those feelings and situations.
DON’T: Lead Anyone On
Honesty really is the best policy. If you don’t see something going anywhere, speak up. It’s better to do this than to create an unnecessary issue later down the road. Don’t do something you wouldn’t want done to you. Be very intentional. If you don’t know what you want, then that’s okay too! Find someone who is in the same boat as you. But don’t hurt someone who is looking for something serious.
DON’T: Justify Red Flags
As women, we tend to have the instinct to rationalize things. “Yeah, he’s kind of mean but he’s funny.” “She only talks to me at night, but maybe she’s busy.” When somebody shows you who they are, believe them. Online dating starts off with small talk. If you already notice things you don’t like when you’re getting to know someone, it is probably not going to get better. As soon as something doesn’t meet your standards, end things. You should not have to lower your expectations for anybody.
DON’T: Let Pressure Get to You
Do not feel like you need to do something you don’t want to do. If someone is pressuring you to do something sexual or go on a date you don’t want to go on, do not cave in. Your boundaries are valid and should be respected. Do not feel guilty for being sure of what you want for yourself. If somebody is pressuring you or making you feel uncomfortable, unmatch or block them. Consent is essential!
Hopefully, this list of dating app dos and don’ts will help you navigate the world of online dating. For more tips on dating, relationships, and sex; be sure to read our weekly articles on our HerCampus website. To be updated on the latest article releases, follow us on Instagram @ hercampussjsu. Wishing you the best of luck on your online dating journey!