ABBA said it best, our childhood is slipping through our fingers.Â
There’s a lot that doesn’t feel the same as I get older – holidays, friendships, creativity, imagination, and dreams, to name a few. Well, that sounds depressing, but the truth is life felt easier when I was as a little girl. I’d wake up in my bright hot pink room, embraced by my Hannah Montana comforter. My mom would pick out my outfit (most likely a dress and a little bow for my hair) and prepare me some fresh fruit and yummy barbie waffles for breakfast. While eating, I’d sit next to my childhood cat and watch Alex Russo pull a quick one on her brothers and parents on TV. I had free time to draw, play dress up, practice singing (because I was going to be famous, duh), and so much more. However now that I have hit my twenties, those carefree days feel so distant. Every day I am hit with this soul crushing nostalgia that’s pulling me further away from my childhood than ever.
I truly miss the good old days.Â
This past weekend another piece of my childhood evaporated: Liam Payne, from One Direction, tragically passed away (may he rest in peace). The news was both sudden and shocking. Not only are fans mourning Liam, but we are also grieving One Direction as a whole. Many others and I have been whole-heartedly hoping that 1D would have a reunion soon. All five band members taking over stadiums everywhere once again, giving us one last opportunity to channel our inner child. Fans have now come to the soul crushing realization that this is no longer possible after Liam’s passing. A band that was so significant to us as little girls, and to popular culture, is now gone forever. Excuse me as I type up the rest of this article sobbing.Â
As I learned in many of my university courses, Emile Durkheim, a world-renowned classical theorist, speaks about collective effervescence and how it is crucial in keeping society together. One Direction was nothing short of this, bringing people together everywhere. I grew up listening to and watching the band, and like me, almost every girl was obsessed with them. It wasn’t just their looks that had all the girls hooked (it may have helped…) but it was the overall sense of community the 1D fans fostered. It was a safe space for girls to be girls; to enjoy and share something with one another. Whether you were next door neighbours, or halfway across the world, girls were able to share this identify with each other. In fact, I formed some of my greatest childhood friendships through our shared love of One Direction.Â
As a twenty-one-year-old, I will likely never experience the emotions I felt through childhood, and this instance was just another reminder of that. I will never get to experience what it feels like to be a twelve-year-old girl obsessed with One Direction again. Standing in the crowd with my friends and our mom’s, wearing their merch, thinking I was going to win free backstage passes, it is all a distant memory.Â
To Liam and to One Direction, thank you for making girlhood so special for so many years. It is finally time to move on and to accept adulthood. I will hold all the memories close to me forever. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go watch The Adventurous Adventures of One Direction on YouTube one last time with my sister… and perhaps a few music videos too.Â