With the resurgence in popularity of Gilmore Girls within the last couple of years, I’ve noticed a couple of things about the show and its audience that I was never as aware of before. The first thing I’ve noticed is the surprising amount of young women who have had a phase in which they wanted to be just like Rory Gilmore. Beautiful, shy, intellectual, Rory was the girl that every mother dreamed of and every teen girl envied. The second thing I’ve noticed was that almost everything seemed to come incredibly easily to Rory, whether that be high praise from the adults in her life, good grades in all her classes and romantic interests, all of whom looked like they came straight off of the cover of GQ. Difficulty in these areas for Rory was always like a shock to the system, not just for characters in the show but for the young girls watching Rory grow and succeed in so many areas each year. The third thing I’ve noticed is that Rory as a character is not relatable at all. A seemingly ordinary and reserved girl has a nearly perfect relationship with her mother, is donned as an angel in her small town, and gets into every Ivy league school she applies to.
Instead, the character who was always relatable to me growing up, and who seemed constantly pushed to the sidelines, both by writers and by Rory Gilmore, was Lane Kim. Lane Kim was a far more complex character than Rory, a character who never had anything come to her very easily, and of course, a character that deserved a far better ending than she was given. For this reason, it frustrates me that the writers of Gilmore Girls did Lane’s character so dirty, and never allowed her to truly live out her dreams of becoming a successful artist, independent from anyone else.
Lane’s relationship with her mother
Lane Kim didn’t have the relationship with her mother that Rory Girlmore did with hers. Mrs. Kim and Lane never shared a culturally relevant joke and most of Lane’s interests, whether that be punk fashion, learning to play the drums or cute boys (aka Dave Rygalski) were always kept a secret. There was immense pressure on Lane to be the perfect daughter, to treat her mother as all-knowing, and to make good grades in school while also not having any hobbies of her own, unless you’re counting reading the Bible cover to cover every couple of weeks.
For this reason, Lane’s relationship with her mother was in my opinion far more realistic than Rory’s relationship to hers. Not many girls are lucky enough to have a parent who acts more like a supportive friend than an anxious and strict guardian. When Lane finally did break away from her controlling and toxic environment, leaving home to become a musician in a rock band, I felt that this was a far more brave and impactful move compared to when Rory went off to Yale. Lane not choosing the path that was planned out for her by her parents was far more inspirational than Rory going to Yale after her grandfather set up an interview at the university for her. This choice and many alternative choices of Lanes could have been a great message to viewers about the benefits of choosing what you love over what other people love for you. But Lane was often punished by the show’s writers for her choice to follow her dreams and this is especially evident through her narcissistic and obnoxious husband Zach.
Lane’s relationship with men
Lane’s first real relationship is with quite literally the man of her dreams. Dave Rygalski is respectful towards Lane’s mom, doesn’t mind hiding their relationship as long as he can maintain a relationship with Lane and reads the entire Bible for her in the hopes that he can convince Lane’s mother that he’s worthy boyfriend material. Lane and Dave’s relationship is so pure and gave me so much hope for Lane’s future. Until it didn’t. Dave goes off to college midway through the show and after making Lane the center of his world for a substantial part of his highschool career breaks up with her.
Lane, after quickly getting over manic pixie dream boy Dave and moving out of her mothers place to go live with her bandmates, eventually finds a new love interest. His name is Zach, the band’s lead vocalist and guitar player, and he may be the most off-putting character in the show. Not only is he guilty of feeling sorry for himself every waking moment of the series, but he also has a surprising lack of emotional intelligence for his age. When Lane’s band goes to an important and career-defining audition, Zach immediately throws a tantrum over something incredibly trivial and delays both his and his friends’ success in the music industry. He and his best friend Brian, who he also treats with little to no respect, also waste the band’s time and money by buying music equipment that has little to no use to them, again setting the band back from ultimately becoming successful. Zach holds Lane back from having a serious career as a drummer at every turn, up until Lane gets pregnant with twins, solidifying the end of her angsty, punk rock era.
By the series end, Lane is forced into the same role her mother played, as if she is being penalized for pursuing a career, and a man that her family doesn’t approve of. Perhaps if Rory, her best friend had told Lane to pursue further education, to find a man that matched her intellect, or gave her more time to live with her and work out her own crisis of identity, things would have been different, but no one ever stood up for Lane and that lack of support really affected her character.
Lane’s lack of success as a musician:
Lane was the girl who introduced me to The Cure and The Pixies. Her love of music informed my love of music and for that I will always have a deep love for her. She worked so hard to become a musician, playing quietly at her local music in the middle of the night, and cleaning the place later on as a form of payment. It is my theory that Lane Kim never becomes a rockstar because she would be overshadowing the show’s main character Rory with her immense level of success. In the end, Lane’s character is pushed to the side, tokenized and never gets her due. It’s a fate we’ve seen for many characters in past shows that are not cis-gendererd or straight or white, and it’s a truly harrowing fate in the case of characters like Lane, who are so charismatic, so loveable, and so full of potential.
Luckily the tide is changing and we are starting to see more diverse and positive female role models in popular media. I just wish Lane Kim had received a more empowering ending than she was given.