My boyfriend just left a few hours ago after a weekend visit, and as I sit here counting down the days until we’re together again, I can’t help but reflect on all the ways we make this long-distance thing work. Being in a relationship is hard enough on its own, but being miles apart brings a whole new set of challenges. If you’re in the same boat and looking for ways to bridge the gap, I’ve got you covered. Here are my top seven tips to stay connected and make the gap feel just a little bit smaller!
- Scheduled Calls and Facetimes
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Being in different cities, and sometimes even different time zones, can make it hard to feel connected, especially with busy schedules. My boyfriend and I have found that making time to FaceTime every day really helps. Every morning, we check in to set a call time, so no matter what’s going on, we know we’ll have that time together. Most nights, we talk from around 9 to 10pm, which I love as we get to share the little details of our day and catch up. It’s a small thing, but it’s become a constant that keeps us close, and knowing we’ll have that time together helps make the distance feel a bit easier to handle.
- Make communication your top priority
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Strong communication is key in any relationship, but for long-distance couples, it’s what holds everything together. My boyfriend and I make a conscious effort to talk openly about what’s going on in our lives and how we’re feeling. One of our golden rules? Never go to bed with unresolved tension. It’s not always easy, but being able to talk things through, even when it’s inconvenient, helps us keep our connection strong and misunderstandings at bay.
We also make an effort to share the small stuff, from random thoughts to daily frustrations, because it makes us feel like we’re part of each other’s everyday life. Little expressions of gratitude, like “I really appreciate you” or “I’m so thankful I get to date you,” go a long way, reminding us both that we’re valued and supported. We’ve also learned to regularly check in on each other’s needs and expectations. This openness helps us stay on the same page and keeps the relationship healthy, growing, and resilient, despite the distance.
- Try out relationship apps
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Relationship apps are a game-changer for long-distance couples, making it easier than ever to stay connected and have fun together! There are so many to choose from, but here are a few of my favorites that my boyfriend and I use to keep things exciting and meaningful.
First up is Official, a relationship app packed with features designed to strengthen your connection. Every day, it prompts you with a new question to answer and share with each other, helping you learn new things about your partner, no matter how long you’ve been together. There are also fun quizzes to test your compatibility, widgets that show your time together, daily check-ins, an “I need attention” button, and even intimacy cards. While there’s a premium version available, the free features alone are more than enough to make it worth using.
Another favorite of ours is Locket, an app that lets you send photos and videos directly to each other’s home screens. Every morning, we send each other a quick “fit check” video so we can see each other’s outfits for the day, which makes us feel a little more involved in each other’s routines. We also use the iPhone countdown widget to track the days until our next visit. Having that countdown on my home screen gives me something to look forward to every day!
There are tons of other apps out there, so I highly recommend exploring more digital options to find what works best for you and your partner. These little virtual touches bring us closer and make the distance feel so much more manageable.
- virtual date nights
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One of the best parts of long-distance is getting creative with virtual dates. My boyfriend and I have tried a bunch of fun ideas that make our time together feel special, even from afar. One standout was an online escape room—we teamed up to solve puzzles and “escape,” which was both challenging and a total laugh!
We also love having movie nights on Teleparty, which lets us sync our screens to watch shows and movies together in real-time. For a more hands-on date, we’ve done virtual arts and crafts, each working on our own projects while chatting on video. And sometimes, we just keep it casual: sharing screens to scroll through my TikTok or Instagram, or playing iMessage games like Cup Pong and Connect Four while chatting about our day.
For even more ideas, you could try cooking the same recipe while on FaceTime, taking a virtual tour of a museum or aquarium, hosting a trivia night, or playing free game like We’re Not Really Strangers. Virtual dates don’t have to be elaborate; even the simplest ones make us feel close and connected. It’s all about creating those shared moments, no matter the miles in between.
- embrace your love languages
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Understanding and expressing each other’s love languages has been important for us in feeling connected across the distance. My love language is quality time, so our FaceTime dates are extra special, and we make sure to be fully present during our calls. One of my boyfriend’s love languages is acts of service, so he surprises me with thoughtful gestures like sending flowers and doordashing my favorite food when I need a pick-me-up. Finding ways to connect through each other’s love languages, even in small ways, has helped us feel valued and appreciated.
I highly recommend incorporating this into your own long distance relationship! For example, if your partner’s love language is physical touch, consider Bond Touch. These devices allow you to send a vibration to your partner, simulating the feeling of holding hands or a gentle touch, even from miles away. My boyfriend and I loved our Bond Touch bracelets when we first started long distance and they’ve since added an option to pair them to your Apple Watch! They’re a wonderful way to stay connected and share physical affection, no matter the distance.
If you’re looking for a more budget-friendly option, you could also send them a cozy blanket or a piece of clothing with a spritz of your perfume on it. That way, they can feel a sense of closeness when they wear it, reminding them of you. Alternatively, if they love words of affirmation, you could write a heartfelt letter and send it in the mail. These little gestures make a big difference, adding warmth to your relationship and reinforcing that you’re always thinking of each other, no matter the miles in between.
- Send “open when…” and love letters
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One of the most thoughtful parts of long-distance for us has been embracing snail mail. My boyfriend and I love writing “Open When” letters: little notes with labels like “Open When You Miss Me” or “Open When You Need Motivation.” Some companies sell premade envelopes, but we love to make these on our own. It’s a way to be there for each other even when we’re far apart, giving each of us comforting words to read in different moments.
We also surprise each other with love letters and notes in the mail just because. There’s something so special about knowing the other person took time to sit down, write their thoughts, and send something heartfelt. It almost feels like a throwback to an old-fashioned romance, and it brings a sense of closeness that’s hard to beat. Plus, seeing an envelope with your name on it makes any day feel a little brighter!
- always have the next visit planned
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Another way we handle the distance is by always having our next visit on the calendar, whether it’s a flight booked or a road trip mapped out. Even if it’s months away, having a set date to look forward to makes the time apart feel more manageable. Knowing exactly when we’ll see each other again makes it feel real and gives us something concrete to count down toward.
Plus, having that next visit planned lets us talk about all the things we want to do together. We’ll start planning little activities or day trips, and it’s exciting to think about creating new memories. Even small things, like deciding where we’ll go for brunch or planning a cozy night in, give us something to chat about and anticipate. It’s like our own little reminder that this isn’t forever; another reunion is always around the corner.
Navigating a long-distance relationship certainly has its challenges, but it also highlights the depth of your love for each other. The tips I’ve shared have worked wonders for us, yet every relationship is different, and it’s important to discover what resonates most with you and with your partner. Whether it’s through regular calls, creative virtual dates, or sending letters, these ideas can serve as a starting point for fostering your own unique connection. Remember, the distance doesn’t weaken your bond; it can actually strengthen it by making each moment together even more meaningful. Embrace the journey, and know that every little effort you invest is a reminder of your love!