Starting college isn’t easy for anyone. From making new friends and taking challenging classes to adjusting to life away from home, everyone faces nerves and uncertainties. But as an introvert freshly out of the Covid-19 era, I found it especially tough to navigate. Here’s how I got through it and some things I wish I’d known back then.
I began college at CU Boulder right after barely having an in-person senior year. Coming from a small high school, it had been a while since I’d made new friends, and I wasn’t even sure if I remembered how to. Making friends was what I was most anxious about. People kept telling me to “just put myself out there” and meet people in my dorm, but that felt very intimidating after a long period without regular social interactions. I had lost so many of my social skills since I mostly interacted with just my family and close friends during the pandemic. Thankfully, my roommate and I hit it off right away, which was a relief because I didn’t have to face every new situation completely on my own.
Looking back, I wish I’d known that everyone was nervous, even if they didn’t show it as much as I did. I assumed that everyone else was naturally more extroverted, outgoing, and socially confident than I was, which only lowered my confidence more. I wish I could go back and remind my freshman self that everyone feels that anxiety and they may just be better at hiding it.
On my first night at school, I went to a frat party with my roommate, my next-door neighbors, and a few friends they’d made the night before. I felt so intimidated by them all that I couldn’t fully relax or show my personality. Even though the party wasn’t all that fun, I’m still so grateful that I went and put myself out there. That night, I left early with one of my neighbors, who is now my best friend. As for one of her friends, we didn’t connect much that night, but she’s now my girlfriend of over a year.
I feel fortunate that my older sister went to CU at the time and lived nearby. The night after the party, I remember crying to her because I felt like I was doing everything wrong and missing out on opportunities that I’d never get again. Now, I realize there’s no rush to do everything and that opportunities will keep coming. It’s true that people are often more social in the first few months, but if a friend group forms and is closed off by then, that’s not the kind of group I’d want to join anyway. I wish I’d known that not getting along with everyone is also okay because there are so many others out there who are the right match. Putting so much pressure on myself to find the right people to be friends with immediately and forever only made me feel worse.
All in all, I’m glad things unfolded the way they did. While I believe that I had full control over the situation, I also think everything happened for a reason and was supposed to work out the way it did. One thing I wish I realized sooner was that everyone else was struggling too. I’m grateful for the friends I made and the experiences I had in those early months — they taught me so much about myself and others.