Growing up, every Wednesday after a long day of school, I would look forward to watching my weekly episode of Gilmore Girls with my mom. It was the perfect mother-daughter bonding show and I quickly became attached to the characters. Ivy bound Rory seemed to be the perfect kid, and spunky ‘not like other moms’ Lorelai was the aunt I wished I had in real life. Since then, every time fall rolls around, I always indulge in rewatching this nostalgic fan-favourite show.
But, I’m no longer 12 and my outlook, naturally, has changed. Going back to the show now has created a whole new view of the iconic female characters– but not necessarily in a good way.
In recent years, the terms ‘pick me girl’ and ‘not a girl’s girl’ have become increasingly popular as more women brand others as problematic, prioritising the pursuit of men at the expense of other women.
You might be thinking, what does this have to do with Gilmore Girls? Well, if you’re a die hard fan like me, you most likely have a social media feed filled with content about the beloved show when Autumn comes around. However, recently, there has been much negative discourse surrounding Rory’s character. While as a kid it may have been easy to overlook some of her actions and idolise the surface level character, rewatching the show as a young adult brings to the table a whole new perspective that reveals problematic layers to Rory.
The question is; Is Rory Gilmore really the ideal girl we may have once thought her to be, or is she selfish with narcissistic tendencies that jeopardises her relationships with women?
One of the most cited moments in the show that highlights this behavior is when Rory sleeps with Dean, her ex, who at the time is married to his wife Lindsay. When confronted by Lorelai, she shamelessly defends her actions and sees no wrong in what she did, stating he’s ‘my Dean.’ Not only is she incapable of acknowledging the fact that cheating is wrong, but she also finds a way to spin the situation and make it appear to be Lindsay’s fault that Dean cheated because she doesn’t make him happy, unsurprisingly blaming the woman for a man’s actions. Even if you’re a Rory and Dean fanatic, it’s pretty difficult to see the positive side of Rory’s actions in this situation. Not to mention, this seems to be a recurring issue considering she also has an affair with Logan in the reboot of the show. It’s not too great of a track record if you ask me.
Apart from her romantic relationships, Rory is often not a good friend to her best friend Lane, and tends to only talk about herself or push her to the side when men are involved. While in the beginning of the show, the two girls share a wholesome friendship, as the plot continues, the imbalance in their relationship is palpable. While both deal with turmoil in their own respective lives, Lane constantly shows up for Rory, yet the favour never seems to be returned. Many in the fandom want justice for Lane’s character who is constantly sidelined while Rory takes centre stage.
During Rory’s time at Yale, she writes a scathing review of a ballet for the school newspaper to replace the other piece that her editor said was too boring. The piece is incredibly judgmental of the lead ballerina who she paints as, not only untalented, but also body shames her, comparing her to a ‘hippo.’ While I think this example speaks for itself on behalf of Rory’s character, it’s also incredibly hypocritical, considering how poorly Rory herself responds to criticism throughout the show; yet, in true Rory fashion, she sees no wrong in the hurtful words she chose to publish.
While this is just a brief overview of some of Rory’s questionable decisions and self righteous actions throughout the series, there are unfortunately many more instances. However, nothing is black and white, and, of course, she has her redeemable moments as well. This is a sign for you to revisit the show and make your own choices about whether or not you think the Rory Gilmore hate train is justified, or if it’s time to start cutting her some slack. After all, the best characters are the ones that aren’t perfect all the time and can teach us something about our own actions, which this widely loved show most certainly does.