On Oct. 25, Katie Gavin released her debut solo album, What a Relief, and I have been able to listen to nothing else since. Gavin is the lead singer of MUNA, a legendary queer pop trio she founded with longtime friends Naomi McPherson and Josette Maskin. Now, normally when a member of your favorite band announces that they are releasing a solo record, the first reaction is to panic that the group is splitting up. But truthfully, the idea of these three besties stopping making music is so far-fetched that no panic actually ensued. Fortunately for every queer person on the planet, Gavin and her bandmates have confirmed that they are here to stay. In fact, the overwhelming reaction across social media was extreme excitement for Katie to showcase even more of her incredibly personal songwriting.
Gavin describes this collection of songs as tracks that she has been holding onto for a long time, some even as early as 2017 when the band released their debut album About U. Many of them were passed over for MUNA’s three studio albums due to not fitting in sonically with the groups high energy stadium shaking hits. As the primary songwriter for the band, the level of intimacy in Gavin’s lyrics can range from heartwrenchingly personal to euphorically universal.
The album is comprised of 12 songs and adds up to just under 40 minutes of run time. As it turns out, 39 minutes and 20 seconds is all you need to deliver a devastatingly perfect tale of navigating yourself, your love life, mommy issues, and dying pets.
Sonically, the body of work is a folk indie dream. Much more stripped down than any of MUNA’s work, Gavin draws on a buffet of ’90s “Lilith Fair-core” influence and worked with producer Tony Berg to bring her visions to life. To name a few trailblazers whose influence can be heard throughout the record, listen for: Tori Amos, Natalie Merchant, The Cranberries, Alanis Morissette, Fiona Apple, Joni Mitchell, Tracy Chapman, and The Chicks.
For this album review, in addition to writing about each song, I have divided them into categories of how they made me feel while listening.
Category: I am yearning for an inexplicable thing that will make me whole
Track one: “I want it all”
This stunning opening track is a quiet plea into the abyss for some relief. It talks about desperately needing something from a partner, but not quite being able to explain what. In hauntingly beautiful vibrato, Katie coos the listener in closer and then holds our hand as she prepares us for the next whirlwind of emotions we’re about to feel in the rest of the album.
Favorite lyrics: “I want you to forgive me / I’m not sure for what”
Track Nine: “Sparrow”
Katie describes waiting for a lover to come back using the analogy of a bird that migrated south for the winter, and she is the forest waiting for its return. The gentle production of this song, filled with background bird noises, creates a beautiful ambiance of vastness. She wistfully says that “what goes up / usually comes back down,” holding out hope for her love’s return. I interpret this song as the prequel to MUNA’s “Loose Garment,” which I would recommend everyone listen to.
Favorite lyrics: “That the birds were all dyin’, the earth had been poisoned / And I was still listenin’ for sparrow-song”
Category: I’m having a dance party but the lyrics are maybe a little concerning
Track two: “Aftertaste”
One of my favorite genres of music is upbeat production with depressing lyrics. In true MUNA fashion, Katie has us dancing around our rooms to a song about being caught up in the head rush of new romance that is simultaneously uncomfortably vulnerable. This first single for the album is an incredibly fun head-bopping track with just the right amount of self-consciousness and apprehension.
Favorite lyrics: “And I’m the empress in my new clothes” (love the childhood story reference to describe how being in a new relationship is like being naked for the world to see)
Track four: “Casual Drug Use”
I could literally headbang to this song. I love the medley of the drums and guitar in this miraculously delicious bop. That being said, it is about questionable self-medicating when things go south. We can’t all be so well-adjusted, okay? I’ve never had more fun screaming in my car about knowing you have a problem but not caring to do anything about it.
Favorite lyrics: “We were looking over across the freeway at downtown / She said sometimes it’s harder to come back home than to come down”
Category: The grief is ancient and inescapable
Track three: “The Baton”
I’m never getting over this one. This is truly the most beautiful metaphor of intergenerational trauma I’ve ever listened to. Katie describes a relay race between herself, her mother, and an imaginary daughter. She sings, “It’s out of my hands,” in reference to cyclical trauma being out of her control, but also literally letting go of the baton to give to the next runner. The family tree is reduced to an endless relay of passing on what one carries to the next person. I cry almost every time I listen to this. I could write a separate article about how intelligent and layered these lyrics are. It’s truly a masterpiece.
Favorite lyrics: “I would tell my daughter / She must be her own mother / ’Cause I can only take her as far as I can go”
Track eight: “Inconsolable”
I don’t know another way to describe this other than Irish-Catholic-core. Katie sings about what it means to come from a family where feelings are kept within and never discussed out loud. She explores how coming from a household like this affects her current relationships and how vulnerability takes practice. Despite the heavy topics, this song feels more light-hearted due to the beautiful fiddlework and hopeful reprise.
Favorite lyrics: “We’re from a long line of people / We’d describe as inconsolable / We don’t know how to be helped”
Category: I thought this is what love was supposed to feel like
Track Five: “As good as it gets”
This is a very special song about the seemingly inevitable mundanity of long-term love. In a duet with the uber-talented Mitski, Gavin questions whether or not love is enough to keep something that has lost its spark together. Interestingly, while most people interpret this as a breakup track, Katie actually wrote it as a love song for her past partner and, to this day, doesn’t consider it a sad song.
Favorite lyrics: “I want you to disappoint me / On and on until we’re old”
Track six: “Sanitized”
Yet again, Katie proves herself a master of her craft with this haunting metaphor-filled track. I would consider this to be the most sonically unique song on the album. With notes that repeat and stretch in a way that almost feels uncomfortable and overwhelming, the listener is filled with a sense of anxiety and anticipation. Gavin sings about subjecting herself to a variety of rituals to make herself perfect for her lover, but in doing so, strips away her chances of truly finding love.
Favorite lyrics: “It’s a sanitized world / How could anything grow here?”
Track seven: “Sketches”
It takes everything in me not to crumple up into a ball and listen to this on a loop for hours whenever it comes up in the rotation. The acoustic guitar is so beautiful and gentle, kindly lulling you into the realization that you’re only in love with a version of someone that you made up.
Favorite lyrics: “But love makes you grow / So it never quite fit / That the deeper I’d go, the smaller I’d get”
Category: I’m gonna throw up
Track ten: “Sweet Abby Girl”
I will make this simple. This song is a love letter to the senior dog, Abby, that Katie adopted in the early stages of the pandemic. Abby died after a year and a half of being with Katie. This song is a thank you to her pup for their time together.
I always say it’s like Katie Gavin is in my walls the way she is able to put my feelings into words. This song found me as my family is coming up on a year with my Grandpa’s 17-year-old dog, who we adopted just before he died. Sweet Sandi girl and I say thank you for this gift, Katie.
Favorite lyrics: “You made me laugh / Now it’s making me cry / Thanks for coming in, my world / Sweet Abby girl”
Category: Maybe it’s all going to be okay
Track eleven: “Keep walking”
It’s natural to demonize the other person after a breakup. But the reality is that most of the time, both people hurt each other. Coming to this realization that you’re not just a victim of circumstance, but a person with their own agency is strangely enough “a relief.” Hence, where the album gets its name. I adore the production on this track, and Gavin’s vocals make my spine tingle. This song is a hopeful reassurance that we do move on.
Favorite lyrics: “I saw your mom in my dream / She called me an asshole / And I felt released”
Track twelve: “Today”
When the sparrow came back, everyone cried.
This song is about wanting independence and not realizing you’ve taken it to the point of isolation. So many people are guilty of pushing their loved ones away at a time when they are most needed. Fortunately for Gavin, the people who love us want us to get better, and eventually we do.
Favorite lyrics: “And I’ll find my way / ‘Cause I was given today”
Conclusion
Well. Many a tear was shed. Many a thought was had.
I am so proud of Katie for her success with her first solo album, and very grateful that she chose to share this body of work with her fans. I will be thinking about it for a very long time. Listen to the soul-crushing masterpiece here!