After getting dumped by my long-distance ex-boyfriend, I felt like my life was over. At that moment, I had no idea what to do next. Breakups happen all the time, but that does not make dealing with them any easier. Even though the news felt earth-shattering, I have figured out how to move through the breakup. Everyone is different, and healing looks different for everyone, but here are some baseline tips and tricks that I found through my healing process.
Stick to what you know. When going through an emotional season, the last thing your body needs is more change. Sticking to the routines I already had in place really helped me find my footing. I continued to attend all my classes, met up with my friends for lunch, went to the gym and kept my space tidy, just like I always do.
It sounds daunting to manage both your regular life stressors and your heartbreak, but I found immense comfort in the familiar. When you fill your time with productive activities, you have no time or desire to reflect on the situation- and you will feel accomplished! Do not let a singular situation derail your entire life. You are so much more than your past relationship, so continue to invest in yourself!
Lean on your friends. When going through a breakup, people often doubt love and feel like it isn’t for them. This is when your female friendships are most valuable. Do not spend time alone. Reach out to your friends. Go out and make new memories instead of focusing on the old ones.
It is normal and okay to be sad, so go be sad with your friends. Get coffee with your bestie when you are sad. Go on the walk with your friend group while sad. Do it sad, do it anyway. Your friends are not going to stop being your friends or stop hanging out with you because you’re sad, the opposite occurs. I found immense support from all my friends during this difficult time, and many people who I did not think I was that close with also reached out and made my experience so much easier. I found that spending time with genuine friends made all the pain and emotions so much lighter.
Admit your feelings. It is important to express how you feel, especially during an emotional event such as a breakup. Do not suppress your emotions because they will only come back later and much stronger. Instead, feel everything. BY acknowledging your feelings, you prevent random waves of intense emotions. By admitting the way you feel, your brain can process it and begin to move on.
I started journaling, and it was extremely helpful. If you do not know how you feel, write it down. If you’re angry, write it down. Intentionally putting rampant thoughts into physical words allows the brain to process them. Your journal will not let you down like your ex did!
At the end of the day, there is no magic spell that takes away all the pain, but I think that’s what makes being a human so incredibly beautiful. We have the ability to love — and that does not come without some pain and loss. I would choose to love people over and over again even if it meant I experienced pain. So sit with it. Sit with the discomfort and be grateful for your ability to love. Call a friend. Do your laundry. Write it out. The only way out is through.