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Burned Book
Burned Book
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Wellness > Mental Health

Never put out the Fire that Burns in You

Updated Published
Cassy Coyne
The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter.

I had a difficult week. 

There’s no need to go into that much detail because it is not relevant to what I am going to write about, so I won’t bore you. 

I once again won’t bore you with the details of my $0 an hour student teaching internship, but you can imagine how stressful it has been. Especially if you have been there or are going to be there soon.

On top of that, I barely make it out each week to buy my weekly grocery bill of roughly $60. So, maybe the bad days would be less bad if I had funds to support one of my coping mechanisms (retail therapy).

All jokes aside, I know there are so many other college students out there struggling too. I realize I am not the only person. But, if you get it, you certainly get it. That being said, sorry if you relate!

Several days this week I had to walk into the classroom of my high school juniors and I had to put on a show. Meaning, I had to walk in, and I had to throw anything going on in my personal life out the window.

I may have let it slip to one class that I was upset about something that put a damper on my morning (and there may have been some tears of frustration). Hey,I never said I was perfect.

I try as best as I can every day to show up with a smile and ready to greet my students and ask about their day. They need it more than I realize; they need that light and positivity whenever possible.

Regardless, the thoughts and emotions that my 16 and 17-year-olds carry with them are far more amplified in their life. It is easy for me being a bit older than them to effectively deal with how I am feeling (most times) but it is not always easy for them.

Not to say that my parents haven’t raised me in a nurturing healthy environment, but what I deal with emotionally is best dealt with when I am independent, alone and away at college. This is something that I’ve learned after I went to college.

Regardless, most will agree that things feel bigger at age 16. Does that make sense?

I’ll say it again: I have to be there for them and I must put them before myself.

Of course, I know when I need breaks. I realize when I need a moment to collect myself before I can attend to other matters and other emotions that aren’t my own. I have learned to ask for help. I also realize I could be better about it.

I don’t go to the gym as much as I should (and as much as I know I need it). When I sweat, I am a better person. I release so much anger and stress by spending time by myself and spending time on my body.

But I try and compensate by making high-protein meals that are healthy and provide me with as much energy as possible. If I can’t consistently work out after school for various reasons or just being mentally exhausted, I can at least make up for it with my nutrition.

I also prioritize taking walks. It has been a bit more tricky this week due to having to stay late at school and with daylight savings, but I try and at least get that in. Fresh air and sun never hurt anybody. I also happen to have my deepest thoughts when it comes to lessons or attending to a matter in the classroom, academics related or not.

On horrible days or bad weeks, it is easy to forget why I am doing what I am doing. It is easy to look forward to three-day weekends and to wish the days away due to being so exhausted mentally and physically. It’s exhausting feeling like I am constantly picking up the pieces for my students while at the same time letting my broken pieces collect on the floor into thousands of pieces.

But eventually, I collect the pieces and I take care of myself. Additionally, I try not to forget to credit myself for the hard work I do.

I remind myself I am a good educator.

I remind myself I am doing the best that I can do with the tools that I have been given.

I remind myself to take breaks to make sure that I can be the best person I can for my people.

I remind myself that even on the hard days, I have to remember why I do it to begin with.

I remind myself that there is a fire that burns so bright in me, and I better not distinguish it. Ever.

Here’s to the hard weeks. After all is said and done, it makes me stronger. The difficult days fuel my purpose (especially in the world of education) just a bit more. I pick up my pieces, I manage it and I learn.

Remind me to come back to this article when I have another horrible week.

Cassy is a new Her Campus SBU chapter member who writes about her physical and emotional journeys, topics she adores, but also any topic that comes to mind that week. At St. Bonaventure, Cassy is Vice President of the SBU College Democrats chapter, a Student Ambassador for admissions, and a member of SBU's EMPOWER club on campus. Cassy is a senior whose double-major is Adolescence Education with Disabilities and History, and she could not say enough praise about her "Ad-Ed" cohort who have become her rock at school. This semester she will be student teaching at two local schools at the middle and high school level. When Cassy is not at St. Bonaventure, she resides in the Finger Lakes area and enjoys substitute teaching where she gets to work with her former school teachers and build relationships with students. She loves attending country concerts during the summer at her favorite concert venue on Canandaigua Lake, CMAC. In her free time, Cassy enjoys perfecting her Spotify profile, reading on her Kindle, working out, and sitting on the porch– coffee in hand– with her roommates. Recently, her most frequented albums are Noah Kahan's "Stick Season" and Zach Bryan's "The Great American Bar Scene." In terms of books, Emily Henry remains a staple author in her reading life and "Funny Story" was her favorite read this past summer.