In a world with so many distractions, getting lost in a stream of bad news, war, tragedy, and loss can be easy. As a young woman, I always ask myself how I can make the world better and what I can do to protect my peace and the peace of others.
These questions can be difficult to answer; after all — I’m just a girl! You might relate to these feelings when it comes to finding peace and joy in your life, especially when so many things are happening in the world that might distract and affect your peace. I’ve found one book in particular that has changed my perspective on life and joy.
The Book of Joy is written as a record of a conversation between the current Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. The concept of “lasting joy” is broken into eight pillars. The first half of the eight pillars are “qualities of the mind,” while the last four are “qualities of the heart.” The different subsections of qualities define how a person might characterize joy within their lives. The pillars are perspective, humility, humor, acceptance, forgiveness, gratitude, compassion, and generosity. Together, these eight pillars serve as a guide for building a resilient, joyful life. The Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu believe that nurturing these qualities helps people face life’s challenges while remaining grounded in love, empathy, and kindness.
The eight pillars can be useful to anyone having a hard time navigating the stress of life, especially right now as a college girl. Here’s a quick recap of how the eight pillars can be used and how they help me:
- Finding Calm in Stressful Situations
-
By embracing the concept of perspective, I’ve been able to reframe stressful events and see them from a broader view. This helps reduce my feelings of overwhelming doom and anxiety, and I begin to see difficulties as part of a larger picture, rather than insurmountable obstacles.
Obstacles are bound to appear in our lives, but by keeping perspective, I’ve been able to understand that while sometimes hard things may happen, I’m capable of getting through them.
- Connecting with Others
-
The emphasis on humility, compassion, and generosity has helped me form meaningful relationships by focusing on shared humanity. These pillars serve to remind me how to approach others with empathy, which can lead to stronger, more authentic connections at home, work, and in social settings.
I find that this has helped me, especially in college. Whenever I face a rude encounter or people who are simply having a bad day, I try to keep in mind that they’re human, just like me. Through this, I’ve changed my mindset to be kinder and maybe even brighten someone’s day in the process.
- Letting Go of Negativity
-
Through forgiveness and acceptance, the book guides us on releasing grudges and moving from past hurts. This is a lot easier said than done, but I can attest that learning to forgive (when warranted) has helped me shed so much negative energy within my life.
This shift has allowed me to stop dwelling on what went wrong and focus on positive actions I can take moving forward, whether it’s in relationships, friendships, work relationships, or just overall life situations. I’ve also learned how to forgive and accept myself. I can be a bit of a perfectionist, so learning to have grace and how to forgive myself has allowed room for personal growth and self-love.
- Building a Positive Mindset
-
Practicing gratitude is another essential takeaway from this book. By recognizing the good in each day, the book emphasizes that people can shift their focus away from what’s missing or imperfect. This daily practice of gratitude promotes greater appreciation, which is closely tied to overall happiness.
When there’s so much bad going on in the world, I find that sometimes it’s easy to become distracted by tragedy. However, by breaking down the world into small subsections, I’ve been able to focus more on the positive, joyous things that surround me every day — whether it be the fact that I live with my best friend, the love that my adorable cat shows me, or even the ability to go grab a coffee with the girls after class.
All these things have fostered gratitude and made me an overall happier person. For help with fostering gratitude and reminders that positive things are happening in the world, you can turn to positivity-based TikTok pages.
- Staying Light-Hearted
-
Another important pillar is humor; the book shows the importance of not taking oneself too seriously. It encourages readers to find laughter and joy in small moments, helping them maintain a positive attitude even on difficult days. This one is probably the most important pillar in my book.
In college, I feel like this can be hard because we can be very self-judgmental and self-conscious about what the world thinks about us. I’m here to tell you that no one cares! I say this in the most big sister way possible: you’re perfect, and your imperfections, quirks, and goofy side are what makes you, you! Embrace it! Realize that things are really not that serious and that we only have one life, so why not live it the way you want without fear of judgment?
If you want to wear bunny slippers to class, wear them! If you want to dye your hair rainbow colors, do it! Learning to be humble has relieved so much anxiety in my life and has made me feel more like myself.
- Finding Inner Strength
-
Ultimately, the Eight Pillars of Joy have provided me with a toolkit for inner resilience. With qualities like “acceptance” and “forgiveness,” I feel like I can better face challenges with a calm, steady mindset rather than reacting with frustration or anger.
These pillars act as a foundation for emotional stability and strength, and it’s probably been the hardest for me to implement. Staying strong and resilient is sometimes exhausting, especially when you feel like the world is falling apart. However, I’m here to tell you from first-hand experience that you’re strong, you’re enough, you’re capable, and you’re perfectly imperfect!
I hope this breakdown of The Book of Joy has provided you with some insight into how small changes to your mindset, attitude, and perspectives can change your life for the better. I truly believe this book has provided me with the tools necessary to create long-lasting joy in my life. It’s one of the greatest books I’ve ever read and will always be my first recommendation to a friend or someone looking for a little extra sunlight in their life.
As an intro to practice joy, I challenge you to put on your favorite song and dance around your room with your best friend, roommate, dog, cat, stuffed animal, or even yourself. Let go of any negativity you may have weighing on you and allow a moment for you to feel peace and, of course, joy!
Want to see more HCFSU? Be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and Pinterest!