Welcome to the St. Andrews’ Scoop, where no dilemma is too tricky, no problem is too tedious and no advice goes unshared. Whether you’re tangled in love troubles, navigating awkward hall interactions or just wondering how to handle the three streets, this is where to spill it all. So grab a cuppa (or a cocktail) and dive in as we tackle the delightful dramas of life in St. Andrews.
Pret Subscription is Over: Help!
“I had the Pret A Manger subscription last year but since its been changed, I can’t justify spending £4 every day for one coffee. What are the more cost effective alternatives?”
Our beloved £30 a month subscription for 5 free coffees is over. If you, like many arts student girlies in this town, are struggling to find an affordable spot for your beloved matcha lattes, here are some alternatives to keep you caffeinated through study sessions:
- Brew at Home: A French press can be a game-changer. A small upfront investment on equipment and some yummy coffee beans can save you money in the long run and will make your kitchen smell like your favourite coffee shop at a fraction of the price.
- Local Cafés: In St. Andrews, we’re blessed by so many lovely local coffee shops. ‘Taste’ is a definite favourite of mine and reasonably priced. Lots of coffee shops offer a rewards system that earns you a free coffee in exchange for your loyalty, so pick your favourite and get saving.
- Bring Your Own Cup: Many spots in town offer a small discount if you bring your own cup, including Starbucks and Pret A Manger, and it’s great for the environment too. Save your pennies, and the planet.
My Boyfriend is Getting Academically Married
“My boyfriend is academically marrying one of his close female friends. I’m obviously super happy for them, I know it’s completely platonic and I’m really happy he has close female friends, but when he talks about proposing, it makes me feel insecure. How do I deal with that?”
Academic marriages are super common at St. Andrews, but that doesn’t make dealing with your significant other having a ‘wife’ any easier! It’s important to remember that it’s a light-hearted, platonic commitment, and is more about adopting freshers and completing Raisin weekend than their relationship.
No matter the friendly nature of your boyfriend’s marriage, it’s important to reflect on, and acknowledge your feelings; it’s okay to be insecure. Your feelings are valid. Talk openly with your boyfriend about how you’re feeling in a non-confrontational way and I’m sure he will reassure you that his marriage is merely a friendship and remind you how much he values you and enjoys your romantic relationship.
I Dress Like the Boys I Fancy: How Do I Embrace My ‘Girly’ Side?
“I’m a girl and I’ve noticed that I dress exactly like the guys I’m attracted to. We are talking baggy jeans, big jumper, dark hair, you know the type. Don’t get me wrong, I love my style, but want to embrace my ‘girly side’ more. How do I add some more femininity to my fashion because I think that would boost my confidence around the guys I like and make me stand out a bit more.”
“Firstly, I love that YOU love your style! Our style is unique to us and shouldn’t ever be a performance to appease or impress others. However, if you want to mix up your style and unlock your feminine style, there’s so many ways to add girly flair to your outfits”.
- Accessorise: Adding dainty jewellery in your preferred colour, which you can discover using colour analysis, can soften your look without drastically changing your beloved style. Hoops, layered necklaces, and bracelets are super fun ways to accessorise and demonstrate your girly side, whilst expressing your individuality.
- Play with Colour: Incorporate small pops of colour like pastels and warmer toned colours. Adding colourful hats, scarfs, and gloves are perfect for the winter and this adds dimension to your outfits, making them look effortlessly chic.
- Balance Fit: Since you already really like your style, it’s important to keep the elements that bring you joy. To tune into a more girly side, try pairing your baggier items with something a little more fitted, for example, baggy cargos with a fitted turtleneck. This will add contrast and shape to your outfit without going too far out of your comfort zone.
- Add Some Cute Details: Try incorporating different textures into your outfits: lace, ruffles, florals. You can do this by adding tank tops underneath baggy jumpers or putting ribbons in your hair. These are simple but a fun way to mix things up.
Remember, confidence is your most attractive quality. Tune in to the clothes that make you feel the most comfortable and the most you.
My Friend is in a Toxic Relationship: What Should We Do?
“My friend is in a toxic relationship but she doesn’t realise it, how can we help her?”
Toxic relationships are incredibly serious and tend to blind the people who are in them, making it really difficult to realise when things have become unhealthy. I’m absolutely not a professional, so if you’re seriously worried about her, you should sign-post her to the relevant professionals. Here’s my advice:
- Be Supportive, Not Judgemental: People in toxic relationships may feel defensive if they think others are criticising their partner. Instead, be an open ear for them to talk to, actively listen, and reassure them that you’ll be there for them, no matter what.
- Ask Open-Ended Questions: Rather than saying outright negative things about her partner, try asking questions like: ‘how does he make you feel?’, ‘Are you happy with how the relationship is going?’. These can encourage self-reflection towards positive change.
- Highlight Her Worth: Remind her of her strengths, accomplishments, and talents. Her self-esteem may be worn down, so building it up can help her recognise her value.
- Encourage Professional Help: Suggest she speaks to someone with more knowledge and professional opinions. Be gentle with this suggestion, you want her to be open to the idea and to not completely shut down and feel personally criticised.
That rounds up this week’s dilemmas, thank you for sending them in. If you have any dilemmas or issues you want advice on, send them in via our anonymous form.