Every time I go home it feels weird.
Whether summer or Christmas break or just for the weekend, something is strange.
Many people feel this way. It could be just that I have moved on. No one’s childhood bedroom feels normal anymore. Most people feel like they don’t even fit in in their hometowns.
But I don’t think that’s it. There has to be another explanation.
When I go home, everywhere feels haunted. It’s like I can see into a parallel universe. But it’s definitely more like looking into the past.
It’s like every significant place in my life isn’t quite done with me yet. They are holding on tight and don’t want me to pull away. They say, “Don’t you remember all these great times we had together? Do you really want to leave all this behind?” They are not ready for me to move on.
They still have some left-over laughter in their walls. Memories from the past bring themselves to light in order to prove there is still more enjoyment to be had and happy times to come.
Left-over laughter can be heard in the quietest of moments or when I can barely even hear my own thoughts. It can be heard in my darkest and saddest of times or my happiest. Sometimes, I can even hear it thousands of miles from my tiny town.
I can hear me and my cousins running and giggling through my grandma’s house.
I can hear my mom’s favorite local country radio station in my kitchen.
I can hear my brother and I dribble a basketball in the driveway.
I can hear my old friends and I whisper secrets when I’m in my basement.
I can hear my grandma reading a bible passage when I eat at her kitchen table.
I can hear The Avett Brothers when I ride in the car with my dad. I can hear myself groan as I pretend not to know the words to every song.
I can hear my grandpa tell me a knock-knock joke when I look at his recliner.
I can hear “Sparks Fly” by Taylor Swift play from the C.D. player in my bedroom.
I can hear my grandma read me a story when I sit on her couch.
I can hear my aunt say, “learn something” when I drive by my elementary school.
I hope the left-over laughter never runs out.
I hope it follows me forever.