Well into my early teens, I was sure that receiving gifts was my love language. Every year, I waited in frenzied anticipation for my birthday and Christmas, the two times a year where I send out gift wishlists to my family. I filled the silence in between them with Black Friday, another opportunity for retail therapy and circling pictures in magazines.
But, truthfully, so much of the stuff that I’ve accumulated over the years — especially around the holiday season — was never necessary, or even worth it. Sometimes the damage to my bank account doesn’t even outweigh my happiness, making me question how I really express and receive love. In the spirit of buying and giving, here is a short list of items that you might want to put back on the shelf.
- another water bottle
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To be completely frank, I bought a new water bottle earlier this year. Although I was initially drawn to its granola aesthetic and printed sticker design, my rationale was that it would help lighten up my backpack, especially on hikes. But, realistically, it was a replacement for the perfectly good (and slightly heavier) water bottle I already had.
Where is that original water bottle now? On the floor underneath my desk, where it’s been since the beginning of the year. It’s nothing revolutionary — for most people, in most cases, you only ever really use one water bottle at a time.
- Your potential 9th tote bag
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So it’s cute. Maybe it’s even free. I love a good tote bag. They make the perfect craft, gift, merch, everything. But that’s just it — they’re everywhere, another cog of the “out with the old, in with the new” machine. Just like with my water bottle, they’re something that I say I “need” until a newer, better one comes along. I’m the biggest fan of reusable bags, totes included, but they’re really only environmentally friendly if you use as few as possible for as long as possible.
- Shoes that look identical to the ones you have on right now
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If you’re going to buy new shoes, I personally think that they should be different from the other pairs you already have — this especially goes for sneakers. Try for a different style, a different colorway, a different brand. Nothing says “look at my new shoes!” quite like shoes that look exactly like your last new pair.
Another good rule of thumb is to try to think of as many outfits as you can that are currently in your closet and you know will look good with the shoes you’re thinking about. If you find yourself struggling, maybe the shoes aren’t meant to be.
- A full-size bottle of a perfume you’ve never smelled
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This one is crazy, and should be common sense, but I’ve seen it done before. With the increasing popularity of online shopping, making a purchase without really knowing what you’re getting is becoming more and more common. Even if you’re reading the one-star reviews alongside their five-star counterparts, other people’s opinions aren’t everything. Who better to know if you like something than you?
You cannot girl math your way out of this one, unfortunately — do not spend your paycheck on something, especially something expensive, that you don’t even know that you’ll like.
- Literally anything suspiciously cheap or in bulk from tiktok shop
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The other day, I saw a pack of five bodysuits going for under $10 on TikTok Shop. I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but something this cheap is not going to last you very long, so you might end up creating unnecessary fashion waste and spending even more money in the long run re-purchasing. Plus, the products that you might deem convenient are perpetuating harmful fast fashion cycles that come at a high cost to workers, animals, and ultimately the entire planet.
- Clothing you’ll wear maybe three times
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This one speaks for itself, so I’ll just give a couple alternatives instead. First, my favorite: ask a friend. As a good rule of thumb, unless it’s something that you really want all to yourself, ask a friend first. I think that relying on the people around you for small favors is one of the best ways to build community. Also, see if you can rethink your vision to match what you already have. Who made the rule that you can’t wear Justice camisoles past sixth grade? A black tank top is a black tank top.
- the “but it’s on sale” item
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This final one is dedicated to my mother, a professional clearance rack browser. Hear me when I say this: Just because it’s on sale doesn’t mean you have to buy it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for saving your money and getting a good deal where you can find one. But it’s not even saving money to buy something on sale when you would never have spent money buying it in the first place.
The bottom line? If you need it, get it. If you want it, rethink it first. It’s all too easy to fall back into a pattern of not wanting to fall behind. If everyone else is buying it, of course you want to buy it too (FOMO is real). But before you rush to join the masses, just know that not everyone is buying it — it’s just that curated social media algorithm, out to get you.
Happy holiday season, and remember to write handwritten thank you notes to show your appreciation for any gifts you may receive… even if it’s one of the things on this list!