It is about that time of year. At the end of the year when the temperatures finally drop, the sun sets early, and everyone goes shopping trying to find the perfect decor to get them in the holiday spirit. Mariah Carey’s iconic whistle note is on repeat no matter where you go and multi-colored string lights brighten up the atmosphere no matter if they’re orange for Halloween or red, white, and green for Christmas.
However, beyond the themed music, comfy sweaters, and spontaneous decor, there is another thing lingering all around, couples. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy seeing people embracing each other no matter if it is young, blossoming love or people who have been together for decades.
Yet, in my opinion, the setback of the holiday season is being constantly reminded everywhere about one’s non-existent love life. Seeing couples posting their Boo-Basket exchanges on social media or visiting the ice rink highlights that I am the only one there without a partner while surrounded by people in pairs holding hands. Thanksgiving dinner also is soured when it turns into a mob of family members constantly asking if you found anyone to marry.
I used to lay in my bed, daydreaming about my woes, and ask myself all the time why I have to be the only one in my inner circle that is single. However, the more I sat around pitying myself for being single, the more I realized that I do not need a man to provide me comfort during the colder seasons, and neither do you.
This summer I binged-watched my new favorite TV series, Sex and the City, and it made me realize that no one should be defined solely based on their relationship status. Ever since I turned twenty, I was constantly asked when I would settle down and find my soulmate. It was a thought that always crossed my mind especially when disconnecting from my social sphere, baking some new recipe I found on TikTok, or sitting on my couch to embark on endless hours of a Halloween movie marathon.
I craved a companion, someone who would fill an empty void and serve as an outlet for me to become so consumed by someone else’s energy that I would dissociate from my problems.
In reality, what I wanted was not something anyone would benefit from, and I needed to completely seek comfort in myself before trying to add someone else to the equation. Yes, it does get annoying during the holidays with corny Christmas rom coms, that I unfortunately do love, are playing 24/7 and corny couple activities are blasted in our faces all the time. I realized, these activities don’t have to make us feel bad about the current state of our lives.
Go to that movie screening alone, ice skate at Dilworth Park until your feet hurt, bake as many cookies as you want, and watch those cheesy and predictable Christmas movies alone until you get sick of it. I believe there is no issue in finding solace in your own path whether that is alone or embarking on activities with friends. To be honest, the one thing you truly can’t outrun is Mariah Carey’s, “All I Want For Christmas Is You” whistle note.