Some, including myself, may agree that a long-distance relationship can take its toll, especially when it regards trust, communication, and generally being on the same page. I wanted to discuss the implications of being in a long-distance relationship in college, and how it does not have to be the deciding factor in whether or not to pursue a relationship further.Â
In my opinion, it has always been the assumption that to have the “college experience” it is best to not be in a committed relationship, and I am here is say that is total B.S. The college experience should not be defined by the guys (or girls) that you pursue in college but by the friendships and connections you make. It is easy to be stuck on whether or not you want to continue a relationship into college, but I will say, do not let your peers influence your decision by believing you are missing out or that college is more fun when you’re single. At the end of the day, their projection of what they believe a college experience should be should not interfere with your college experience.
If you decide to stay in a committed relationship, do not let it inhibit your experience. Do not let having a long-distance partner be the reason why you miss going out with friends or shy away from meeting new people. If your partner cannot understand the importance of making new connections even after having repeated conversations the relationship may need further evaluation regarding trust.Â
Lessons Learned from Long-Distance
Regarding my own experience, my boyfriend and I have been together for over three years, and for one of those years we have been long-distance. I can definitely say that it hasn’t always been the easiest, especially now that the reason we are long-distance is because of college. Just like any other relationship, distance or not, it requires communication. That being said, I had noticed early in our long-distance relationship, communication was troublesome for the both of us. We continued to have petty arguments that did not have any real substance other than “you didn’t tell me this” or “you didn’t tell me that” until one day I was exhausted and wanted to know the roots or why we were really having these arguments. After further discussion it became clear that he had felt as though I was not communicating in my daily life and felt in a way he was missing out on a part of my life that he previously was so well versed in. After healthy communication on the subject we came to the solution that everyday, no matter what, we have to talk on the phone, about our day, for at least 10 minutes. As elementary as it seems it helped our relationship immensely. It became very clear to me that if you want to make a relationship work it will. A relationship does rely heavily on communication and a lack can cause the breakdown of the relationship.Â
Lastly, both parties need to be on the same page and it is important that you set things in advance. For example, in my current relationship it is important for him that I text him I have made it home when I have been out with friends or keep him updated when I decide to hang out with a new group of people. It is important to me that he reciprocates by doing the same. These are things that do not require much but help us feel both connected and updated in our daily lives. We also have conversations regularly on how we are feeling in the relationship and if we have any mixed emotions, this helps aid any questions we have for each other.Â
Overall, a relationship takes work. If you feel as though the relationship is not something you want to pursue further it is okay to end things when faced with the logistics of long-distance. If you had asked my boyfriend and I if we could be long-distance after only dating for three months we would have told you no. However, after developing our relationship for two years, it was obvious there was not any other choice but to be long-distance when one of us had to move. I will always stand on the opinion that a long-distance relationship is one hundred percent doable if both parties are up to the task. You should never let a good relationship go because of distance.
A good relationship is always worth fighting for.