Thanksgiving is a time for food, family, and… shade. Let’s face it, no one is safe at the dinner table. Whether it’s Auntie asking why you’re still single, Grandma hinting you’ve gained a little weight, or your cousin trying to humble-brag about their new job, the conversation can turn from sweet to spicy faster than you can say, “Pass the cornbread.”
But fear not—this guide will help you navigate the landmines and deliver a clapback with love and finesse.
1. The Weight Watcher Comment
“You must be eating good at school—look at them cheeks!”
Some family members don’t just comment on the food—they’ll sprinkle unsolicited opinions about your appearance onto their plate of shade. Instead of letting this ruin your plate, respond with:
“I’m glad I’m eating well. I was worried someone might still be starving for attention.”
This playful but firm retort keeps the conversation light while making it clear you’re not here for body commentary. It’s a reminder that everyone’s plate is different— and so is their journey.
2. The Relationship Status Inquiry
“When are you gonna get a man?”
This question is as predictable as the mac and cheese. If you’re tired of dodging relationship status updates, try:
“When I find someone who can handle me… and this family!”
Humorous but pointed, this reply reminds them that being single isn’t a tragedy, it’s a choice. And you’re not about to settle just to satisfy someone else’s expectations.
3. Career Competition or Lack Thereof
“When are you going to get a real job like your cousin?”
There’s always that one relative who measures success in titles and paychecks. Defuse their criticism with:
“When they start paying for unsolicited advice, I’ll be all ears.”
This subtle clapback reframes the narrative, your hard work matters, even if they don’t come with a corporate title.
4. The Overly Personal Question
“So, when are you having kids?”
Questions about your life choices, especially ones as personal as having children, can be uncomfortable. Keep it short and sweet with:
“Right after you stop being nosy.”
It’s a reminder that boundaries matter, even at the Thanksgiving table
5. Handling the Unsolicited Fashion Critics
“That outfit is a little too much for a family gathering, don’t you think?”
Your confident clapback:
“I didn’t want to blend in with the bland—someone’s gotta bring the spice.”
This response lets them know you’re not afraid to stand out and add some flair to the gathering. It’s a fun, clever way to shift the energy and let them know your outfit is intentional, stylish, and totally appropriate for any event you attend!
Thanksgiving banter often comes from a place of love and connection. Knowing how to clap back is about setting boundaries, not starting drama. A good clapback:
- Protects your peace by addressing the comment directly.
- Stays respectful while showing you’re not to be played with.
- Keeps the humor alive, because laughter is often the best medicine.
At its core, clapping back isn’t about being petty or confrontational. It’s about preserving the joy of the moment and protecting yourself from unnecessary stress. Setting boundaries lets your family know you’re here for the love and the laughter, but not for the disrespect.
So, enjoy your Thanksgiving meal, bask in the love of family, and serve your clapbacks with the same care as that mac and cheese— layered, intentional, and always baked with love.