My last article was about how the holidays are where some of the best memories are made. But in my case, the holidays can also be where the worst memories are. There is one memory that I can never forget. I still remember, to this day, the exact time a phone call came in and my life changed.
But before talking about that memory, I need to explain what happened. I believe the year was 2012 and my family found out that my grandfather had stage four colon cancer. I was maybe seven or eight then and did not understand what was happening. My mom told me that papap was sick and he had to take special medication to help him feel better. After a few years, I learned what was actually happening and what he was fighting.
Fast-forward to 2018. I was a sixth grader trying to navigate my way through a new middle school and a new school system and trying to figure out who my friends were. Christmas day came and everything was going great. The whole family was there, we were celebrating, and we all acted like nothing was wrong. We all hoped that it would not be what it turned out to be.
Four days after Christmas, my mom received a phone call from my grandmother saying that papap was in the hospital and was saying his goodbyes. My mom, dad, and I rushed to Rochester to be with him and the family. When we got to the waiting room, my grandmother took me with her to go and see him.
When I entered the room, I remember seeing wires everywhere, he had a nasal cannula in, and he was lying on the bed, expressionless. I walked over to the left side of his bed and held his hand. My grandmother said, “Rudy, it’s Morgan.” I thought it was strange that she would say that because he was deaf since he was a young man. But, he somehow knew that it was me because I felt his arm, weakly go around me for what would be one last hug.
After the family saw him, we left the hospital, and my mom and I went to spend the night with my grandmother. I prayed that he was going to be healthy and that what was happening was a dream and wasn’t happening. Dec. 30, 2018, I woke up early that morning to find my mom and grandmother in the living room. I joined them and was told that we would visit my grandfather when visiting hours started around 9 or 10 in the morning. Then the phone rang. 6:30 a.m. My grandmother was informed that my grandfather passed away. It was the worst feeling in the world. Even though he was my grandfather, I saw him as a father figure and one of my best friends. But now I had to figure out how to navigate a world without him. That was one thing I was never prepared for.
Since 2018, my family has had family members pass away almost every single year. But the holidays for me have been tough because of his passing, and it has never been the same and it never will be.