When going away to college, you prepare yourself for many aspects of change and independence. But sometimes there’s a change that you cannot prepare yourself for: loss. Yet one day you’ll be sitting in class, the dining hall, or your dorm room, and you’ll get the call that a loved one has passed away. For some, this may be a shock. For others, it may be expected. Nonetheless, it’s the last thing anybody wants to hear. You’ll realize that no one told you what it would be like to have to process the news, especially miles and miles away from the people who understand. It’s lonely because no matter how much of a support system you have at school, those who are also experiencing loss are not there with you. There is an expectation that, when you move into college, you are capable of being independent, but grief is a feeling that yearns for understanding—and company can make it easier. The following are tips to help you manage these intense emotions in a new environment.
Talking to Friends and Family
Although it can be helpful to spend time alone amidst difficult times, it can be just as helpful to surround yourself with people who support and care for you. Whether or not the people you choose to turn to can relate to the loss you are experiencing, it can be beneficial to share how you feel with others.
Journaling
If talking about your emotions feels too daunting, writing them down is a great alternative. Getting the thoughts out of your head and onto the page can provide clarity and relief.
Take Breaks and Partake in Activities You Enjoy
Grief can be all-encompassing, so allowing yourself to take a break is important. It is okay to need help. If you can, take a brief step back from your responsibilities and indulge in something that makes you feel good. Whether that is getting food from your favorite restaurant, watching a movie, coloring, or my personal favorite: working out. You do not have to feel guilty for prioritizing your mental health.
Feel Your Emotions and Reflect
It is tempting and easy to avoid the effects of the loss, but allowing yourself to wallow in your feelings for a bit and taking time to reflect on the fond memories you shared is healthy. Although losing someone is heartbreaking, it allows you to celebrate who they were and their impact on your life.
The thing is, life goes on. Perhaps it may look slightly different, but the world doesn’t stop—and that’s both a good and a bad thing. Good in the sense that you will get through it all, and there is more in life to look forward to. Bad in the sense that everything around you is still fluid when you wish it could freeze for just a moment, allowing you to truly process your feelings. However, the key takeaway is that you are never alone. It is okay to ask for help; life isn’t meant to be navigated in solidarity.