Life often feels like a journey of searching for where we belong, whether it’s in friendships, hobbies, or even career paths. For most of my life, I clung to the idea that every space I stepped into had to become a permanent home, a forever safe space. If I joined a group, I felt as though I had to fit in perfectly. If I pursued an interest, I thought I had to excel. But growing older has taught me that moving on from what no longer fits isn’t failure—it’s growth.
There was a time when I found myself a part of a group that I thought was perfect for me. At first, it felt safe—like I’d finally found my people. But as time passed, I noticed myself bending over backwards to align with the group’s dynamic, overlooking our differences in values. I’d shelter parts of myself to better blend in, which only led to feeling like I was standing outside a glass box, looking in at an inauthentic version of myself. Leaving wasn’t easy, in fact it took me a while to phase out of this group, but it was so necessary. I realized that not every space is meant to be permanent. Some experiences come into our lives to teach us something, we have to recognize it’s okay to let go when it no longer feels good.
Shifts like these are not only limited to my friendships ,I’ve also felt these shifts in groups or hobbies that once brought me immense joy. I’ve joined countless groups, throwing myself headfirst into every relationship, event, and discussion. For a while, it was everything I needed and more. But as I grew, I began to notice how my interests and values were evolving, and being there no longer felt like how it first did. Walking away wasn’t about rejecting the joy it once gave me—it was about making space for something new that aligns with the person I’m becoming and the things I now care about.
Outgrowing something doesn’t make it any less valuable. It simply means you’ve changed. And change is the backbone of leading a fulfilling life. Forcing yourself to stay in a box that no longer fits can feel suffocating. Moving on opens the door to new opportunities, people, and experiences that might shape you in ways you couldn’t have ever imagined. Being selfish and putting your personal growth first is the key to a happy and successful life, in my experience.
I want to remind anyone reading this: It’s okay to outgrow things. It’s okay to outgrow people. Life is about evolving, and there’s no shame in leaving behind what no longer elevates your happiness, authenticity, or growth. Instead of feeling guilt or regret, embrace the beauty of the memories you’ve made and the lessons you’ve learned.
You don’t have to fit into every space you enter. You don’t have to stay where you once felt comfortable. Growth can be uncomfortable sometimes, but it’s worth it. Because when you grow out of one box, you make room to grow into a better one.