DEI and Sorority Recruitment: Conversation Starters for Meaningful Connections and an Inclusive Sisterhood

Anyone who has gone through sorority recruitment can testify to the fact that it is nerve-wracking. For as many days as recruitment at your school goes for, you want to put your best foot forward. Whether this be sporting your favorite pair of jeans on night one or your best dress during Pref, we all know the feeling of the fear of being judged. You want to look the part, and you want to fit in.

But this fear of being judged and not fitting in is multiplied tenfold for the PNMs who are afraid of prejudice. PNMs of marginalized identities might not feel as if they will belong in a sorority or women’s fraternity because historically the identities they hold may not have been welcomed when these organizations were founded. This can lead to some hesitation towards going through Recruitment because no one wants to experience discrimination—or feel as if they’re going to be a chapter’s token—during recruitment on top of worrying about what outfit to wear. 

So ladies, here are some suggestions of ways we as sisters can put our best feet forward during recruitment, and make sure that we are truly welcoming our PNMs with open arms through inclusive language and making meaningful connections that truly show what sisterhood is all about.

DEI During Recruitment: Do’s and Don’ts 

In my first DEI and Greek Life article, I gave some suggestions for things PNMs can do before and during recruitment to know what they are getting into in terms of an organization’s DEI stance and the steps they take towards an inclusive sisterhood. While our organizations might have a certain stance on DEI, it is important that we, on a chapter level, uphold these values on an everyday basis. The commitment to creating an inclusive sisterhood isn’t something that stops after taking a DEI workshop as a New Member– there is always more work to be done. 

As I’ve stated before, this can start during recruitment. Showing that your chapter is a welcoming place can simply look like the conversations that members of your chapter hold with PNMs.

We all know how much talking happens during recruitment, and with so many girls to talk to, it’s difficult not to resort to the more cookie cutter conversation starters. Especially when it is so hard to communicate the best things about your sisterhood in only the span of five minutes, implementing conversations focused on DEI might seem like a challenge. But, if this is something your chapter is really focused on, and trying to communicate to PNMs do treat it just like any other topic you’d want someone to know about your organization (like your philanthropy.) A great time for this would be during the Open House (when you’re trying to show PNMs what you’re about and what you’re looking for) or the Sisterhood round (when you’re showing PNMs what life in a sisterhood might look like.) You can definitely talk to anyone about diversity, because anyone who has the potential to join your sisterhood will benefit from being a part of a sisterhood that welcomes everyone. 

Something important to note, and a very important do to remember when implementing conversations surrounding DEI, is that there is a difference between tokenism and diversity. Tokenism is defined by Oxford Languages as: “the practice of making only a perfunctory or symbolic effort to do a particular thing, especially by recruiting a small number of people from underrepresented groups in order to give the appearance of sexual or racial equality within a workforce.” Tokenism isn’t real diversity, because it isn’t taking real action towards an inclusive sisterhood because its inclusion and equality only on a visual level. It isn’t genuine. One way I like to explain it is that tokenism is in direct contrast to one of Zeta Tau Alpha’s Nine Key Values: being rather than seeming. As stated before, being inclusive is real work that we have to put in every single day. Checking out Tokenism would just be seeming diverse because we have a few Sisters of Color whose identities and experiences we don’t actually acknowledge as a part of our understanding of sisterhood. Don’t single out or tokenize PNMs based on visual parts of their identity (such as skin color, religious clothing, accent, etc.) and only talk to them about diversity. 

On a related note, do steer clear of microaggressions. From Oxford Languages, a microaggression is, “a statement, action, or incident regarded as an instance of indirect, subtle, or unintentional discrimination against members of a marginalized group such as a racial or ethnic minority.” Like this definition states, this form of discrimination is small and indirect, and even the person who’s giving the microaggression might not realize they’ve done it. Here are some examples:

• “You’re so articulate” or “you speak English so well!” when said to a person of color, implying that because of their race it’s surprising they can speak “well.” 
• “Where are you really from?” when said to a person of color who is stereotyped to now “look American.” 
• “You’re so pretty for insert racial group” this—obviously—implies that certain racial groups are not pretty, and that the PNM you’re talking to is “different” or “the exception.” Similarly, describing someone as “exotic” and tokenizing them based on their looks.
• Speaking loudly to someone with a certain accent or who may be hard of hearing, as if they don’t understand English and yelling at them will somehow make them understand it better. 
• “I don’t see color/your disability/socioeconomic status” this microaggression states that the person saying it doesn’t “see” the identity the person they are talking to holds, therefore invalidating their lived experiences. 
• Telling someone with a disability that they do not “look” disabled or assuming all disabilities are visible. Similarly, asking invasive questions about their disability or how they “became disabled.”
• “You don’t look gay/bisexual/trans!” reinforces stereotypes about what a member of the LGBTQ+ community should “look” or “act” like. Similarly, asking someone when they decided to be “gay” and insisting that it’s “just a phase.”

While these comments may seem harmless, like compliments, or even inclusive they are still a form of prejudice and are definitely DON’TS when it comes to having conversations centered around DEI during recruitment. Instead try some of these conversation starters:

DEI During Recruitment: Conversation Starters

Open House: 

• “What drew you to apply to college/university?”
• ”Where did you grow up? How do you think that shaped the woman you are today?”
• “What are some other involvements or causes on campus that you are passionate about?”
• “Sororities and women’s fraternities are home to women of all backgrounds and perspectives. Tell me about the time you have worked together or have been a part of a community with others who were different from you.”
• ”Tell me about a time that you’ve stepped outside of your comfort zone.”

Sisterhood:

• “What unique values, experiences, or perspectives do you think you can bring to our sisterhood?”
• “How have you experienced sisterhood in the past? What does sisterhood mean to you?”
• “What do you hope to gain from joining our sisterhood? What do you hope to learn from your fellow sisters?”
• “How do you think we can make our sisterhood a welcoming place for all?”

Philanthropy:

• “What community service or causes are meaningful to you? Why?”
• “How do you hope to make a difference in the world?”
• “How do you give back to your community?”

Preference:

• “Our organization has rituals and traditions of our own, what are some traditions that are important to you?”
• “What aspects of who you are would you want to share with us as a sister?”
• “What does ‘home’ mean to you? How can our sisterhood feel like a ‘home away from home’ for you personally?”

Closing

In summary, a really good time for sororities and women’s fraternities to show PNMs that their sisterhood is a welcoming and inclusive community for all women is simply during recruitment. This is because recruitment is when we’re already sharing important aspects of our sisterhoods—such as our philanthropies and other values that are key to our organizations—and our commitments to inclusive sisterhoods is just as much of an important aspect of our organizations as the more “typical” conversations about life in a sorority/women’s fraternity. Remember, you can talk to any PNM about diversity—don’t single out certain girls. At the end of the day, every sister is better off in an inclusive and welcoming sisterhood. Showing that you on a chapter level are willing to put in the everyday work into making your sisterhood more inclusive by simply sharing that during the time when PNMs are learning the most about whether your chapter will be their forever home will help you and your chapter take strides toward making the future of Greek Life and sisterhood as a whole even stronger for all women. 

For each and every sister, with Zeta Love And Mine,

Grace :)

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