COPING WITH THE FRIZZ

Let’s just say that growing up with curly hair was a battle. As a kid, my hair was fine, so it was super manageable for my parents to take care of. As I grew into my preteen years and hit puberty, my hair just changed so much, and I just couldn’t seem to manage it. I would wash my hair and let it air dry just for it to be super frizzy and dry, but when I would try to blow dry my hair, it would also be super frizzy. This left me to either spend hours straightening my hair to make it look smooth or just stick it all up into a bun. I didn’t know what to make of my hair. I had friends who had curly hair, but their hair was super curly and would just naturally form into perfect ringlets. I also had friends who had straight hair and would be able to brush through it with ease. I didn’t know what type of hair I had; I just assumed that I had frizzy hair and that there was nothing I could do about it. As I entered high school, I was able to master straightening my hair faster. This, in turn, meant that for most of high school, my hair was pretty much straightened, which looked good sometimes, but it also looked damaged and dry a lot of the time. I spent my high school years not knowing what my natural hair was since it had been so long since I kept it natural. As I entered college and entered my 20s, I decided to take back control of my natural hair and learn how to properly care for it. You’re probably reading this thinking I don’t get what the big deal is – it’s just hair, but growing up with a hair type that you don’t usually see on the dolls that you play with really became a challenge for me. It felt like a part of my identity was hidden away, nowhere to be found. I spent time pondering about the fact that for the rest of my life, I would probably have to straighten my hair or deal with the frizz. Taking back that control was not an easy process. I had plenty of days that my hair was extra crunchy because of too much gel or super dry because of lack of moisture. I’d scroll on TikTok and Instagram and look at the curly girl videos and wonder what possibly I was doing wrong. When I was finally able to get a grasp of things that worked and things that didn’t work on my hair, I saw this new part of myself. Not only did it mean having bouncy, curly hair that wasn’t frizzy, but it meant experiencing and learning a new part of myself. As fun as it was, I still had my days when I straightened my hair because curly hair didn’t seem proper or formal enough. So no, this isn’t just about hair, but it’s about society and its expectations. Learning to embrace my curly hair wasn’t just a process of learning how to care for it but a process of coming to terms with the fact that having curly hair is professional and beautiful. All hair types and textures and personalities and traits are beautiful, so it’s important that it is represented within society. If I could go back in time, I wish that I’d embrace my natural hair more, but also, if I go back in time, I will tell myself that the way that you are is just as beautiful as the dolls that you play with and the actresses you see on TV.