The snow is falling, and the carolers are singing! It’s the most wonderful time of the year until that strange, dreary feeling creeps up on you and you decide that maybe instead of “wonderful,” the adjective you would use to describe this time is “gloomy” or “irritating” or even “eye roll-inducing.”
I absolutely adore the holidays, but sometimes, no matter how hard I try to be holly and jolly, the season of sleigh rides and jingle bells can bring about a feeling of melancholy. “The Holiday Blues” is a real phenomenon, in which some people tend to feel a strong sense of anxiety, depression, sadness, or loneliness during the holiday season. If the holiday season is in fact your favorite time of year, I don’t mean to yuck your yum! But for some, it is a time where negative emotions run higher than usual.
If you aren’t exactly feeling that holiday cheer everyone’s been talking about and wondering why, there are many reasons why “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year” can turn to sadness for some folks.
One reason that some people may not feel like decking the halls is grief. If you’ve ever lost a loved one, you know that the holidays can bring about difficult memories, or loneliness due to their absence. Grief can come and go in different ways, and for many, the holiday season is a time that the pain of a loss is felt even more than usual. These feelings are very normal, but can end up feeling plain annoying when you’re just trying to enjoy the season.
Another reason for a tough holiday season is sometimes plain and simple: family. Family can be great! But seeing family is sometimes tough for many reasons. Maybe your great aunt (very vocally) doesn’t approve of your new tattoo, or your parents won’t stop asking you why you haven’t brought home a partner yet, or your family-friends spark heated political conversations that fill Christmas dinner with tension instead of cheer. Or perhaps, on a deeper level, your relationship with your family has never been sunshine and rainbows, and going home for the holidays brings a level of anxiety as a whole. In any case, dealing with tough familial relationships is not easy, and can become significantly harder during the holidays.
Negative feelings during the season can also be due to magical holiday expectations being met with disappointment. Society pushes picture-perfect family Christmas cards and mistletoe kisses as the epitome of a good holiday season, and if you don’t have these things, it might just feel like an anti-climactic letdown.
Frustrating is the only word I can think of to describe the “Holiday Blues.” You don’t want to spend the season feeling sad, but sometimes, you just can’t help it. So, for those of us whose happiness doesn’t exactly shine in December, what can we do?
The most important thing during this time is to prioritize yourself. If scrolling through endless holiday cheer is bringing you down, take a social media break. If tense family dynamics are making you less than merry, remove yourself and take some time to recharge. If grief is the reason for your spirits being down, acknowledge your very valid emotions, and lean on loved ones for support.
Remember, your number one priority should always be your mental health. If this holiday you don’t feel like hauling out the holly, or making spirits bright, you are not alone. The greatest gift you can give yourself this season is kindness.