For as long as I can remember, fictional couples have set the standard for love and relationships. From Disney princess films to iconic couples of the 2000s, I, along with many others, have placed these characters on a pedestal, hoping to one day find a partner who mirrors or even strives to embody that idealised version of love. However, revisiting some of these movies and TV shows as an adult has given me a fresh perspective. The rose-colored glasses I once wore have come off, and now, instead of feeling inspired, I often find myself disturbed by these couples. So, the question arises: do our views of what makes a healthy relationship change as we grow, or were these couples never truly worth aspiring to in the first place?
Starting off with cultural phenomenon of the 2000âs- âGossip Girl.â I first watched gossip girl when I was 12, I watched the full series through and fell in love with (the many) couples the show provided over the course of six seasons. Like most of the world, I became infatuated by gossip girls queen bee, âBlair Waldorfâ, particularly her relationship with Chuck Bass. In my defence at 12 years old I had little to no clue of what a real, healthy relationship looked like, I was merely interested in who provided the most drama and excitement. Truthfully, Blair and Chuck did at the least provide this. From ultimatums, the long-winded process of exchanging an âI love youâ, to selling the other for a hotel- there was never a dull moment while these two were on screen. At such a young age I equated this impulsivity and excitement with love. However, watching the show back now as an adult, I was really quite revolted, and mortified for ever endorsing the two as a couple. The two both possessed their own toxic traits, which created most of the turmoil within their relationship. Blair was jealous and conniving, and Chuck was aggressive and narcissistic. Overall, the two actually made each other worse, forget a healthy alliance. But what really confirmed their unsuitability for me, was when Chuck sold her for a hotel? I was left speechless to say the least, and mind-boggled to how I forgot or simply skipped over this detail when I first watched the show. It very clearly showcased just how little Blair was worth to Chuck, trading her off like an object??? Chuck was generally an unlikeable character. His entitlement proceeded him, from sexually assaulted and abusing women including Blair, his incessant misogynistic remarks to his many ignorant comments, he became a patronising nuisance to me as I watched the show back. Blair had her faults, but by the end of the show she deserved and unbelievable amount better than Chuck. Alas, due to much demand from fans, the two ended up together. This is personally not the ending I chose to believe, however at least this warped perception of what love looks like has finally been vindicated and I will consciously avoid any relationship that mimicâs the two in the future.
 Next on my list is Rory and Dean from the show âGilmore Girlsâ (2000). Again, I was still quite young when I first watched the show, around 13-14. Upon first viewing, I found this couple incredibly endearing. Dean appeared to be the perfect first boyfriend, even stated by Roryâs mother Lorelai a questionable number of times. However, upon my many rewatches I began to detect some fundamental flaws in the twoâs relationship. Although Rory isnât innocent, (the relationship ended with her cheating on him) Dean was not the perfect Prince Charming I had built him up to be in my head. Take the infamous Donna Reed episode for instance. The episode started with Lorelai and Rory poking fun at the irony of the Donna Reed show; how the entire show consisted of this character essentially just living to serve her husband and children, quite literally the stereotypical 1960âs housewife arch type. While Rory and her mother pointed out the heinousness of this concept, Dean seemed to find it âkinda niceâ. This caused me to have a similar distasteful reaction to his girlfriend Rory. Although she eventually forgave him, the underlying issue of what he said was never addressed. However, knowing he possesses such an attitude towards women, explains a lot of his behaviours. I have always found their first break up so puzzling, due to the fact it seemed completely unnecessary. Although Dean loved Rory, he seemed to uphold very strong expectations to how Rory should act towards him. An example of this is when he tells her that he loves her on their 6-month anniversary and Rory isnât able to say it back. Granted her response was rather ludicrous, âI loveâŠ.the carâ, His reaction was still overly harsh and unwarranted. Rory’s concerns were completely valid and understandable, especially considering she was the product of a teen pregnancy, with her father no longer involved in her life. However, Dean quite literally dismisses these fears and instead breaks up with her? Again, the two do end up reconciling a couple of episodes later when Rory is finally ready to say âI love youâ however the fact that she was made to feel bad about not saying it when she wasnât ready is still, till this day incredibly concerning.
Finally, I will be discussing Andy and Haley from the beloved sitcom- âModern Familyâ (2009). I first watched the series with my family when I was fifteen. I hadnât seen anything about the show prior to watching and therefore was not entirely aware of how much of an unpopular couple Haley and Dylan were. However, as of recently there has been much discourse about how upon reflection Haley and Dylan were the couple that were meant to end up together. However, this time reflecting on the show now that I am older, I actually disagree with this take. Although there is nothing necessarily âwrongâ with Dylan, apart from the fact that he often displays a ceaseless ditsyness, I still do not believe he was the right final partner for Haley. Rather, I believe she would have been a lot better off ending up with one of her previous boyfriendâs Andy. Andy was a fan favourite, and perhaps the two could have been explored more if the actor didnât have to leave the show due to scheduling conflicts. Even while Haley and Andy were becoming friends, you could see how Haley already started to grow and develop. Unlike many men on the show, Andy wasnât immediately interested in Haley, in fact, he already had a girlfriend he was quite preoccupied with himself. This challenged Haley; however, I believe their friendship is what made them flourish as a couple. Haley was often self-absorbed to a fault, and also over-concerned with how people would view her. Andy was the opposite of this, he was selfless and empathetic as well as outwardly dorky and unafraid to be himself- much like Haleyâs father, âPhil.â Although, the traits the two possessed actually helped them both to grow as people. Haley was more open to letting go of what people think of her and Andyâs kindness caused her to raise her to standards of how people treat her. Andy even took a page out of Haleyâs book and began to project confidence as well as the ability put himself first for once and break things off with his toxic partner. My favourite moment of the two was when they help one another prepare for their approaching job interviews. It is a perfect example of how the two uplift each other and help each other succeed. Unlike in the past, Haley became more driven and ambitious, and a big part of this shift was her friendship with Andy. Ultimately Andy ended up getting offered his dream job, which led to the end of the road for the two. A lot of fans seem to hypothesise that Dylan and Haley represent a younger Phil and Claire, however I have always believed Haley could do even better than her parents relationship.
Overall, my perception of TV couples has certainly shifted as Iâve gotten older. Some beliefs have remained unmoving, however the combination of gained maturity and just common sense I can now identify with different couples which are healthier and more realistic than the more popular, dramatized fictional couples. But what do you think, have your opinions on fictional couples changed over the years, or perhaps youâre still in the process of finding what you believe to be healthy and sufficient?