I’d probably forget my own name if it wasn’t for my Notes app on my computer and phone. I truly will write anything that could be of any use to me, which results in a great abundance of notes that, looking back, make absolutely no sense. So for my enjoyment and hopefully yours, here is a countdown of the top 10 funniest and/or most obscure ones currently saved, accompanied by my own reactions and explanations of them.
10. “birthday gift to nicole…count the number of times we’ve each won at cup pong”
LOL, it’s actually Nicole’s birthday as I’m writing this and I did not, in fact, do this. Cup pong on Game Pigeon is so wrong for not letting its users access data such as the amount of times they’ve won and lost against someone. I initially wanted to surprise her with such a gift by going through all of our messages and keeping a tally, but man, there is no way I could do it. Nicole and I play three times a day AT LEAST amidst talking about our own lives; I would simply lose my mind going through such a high volume of texts. So I’m sorry Nicole, I love you dearly … but perhaps not enough for such a sacrifice.
9. “note to self make worm pet”
I just think it would be neat to have a worm as a pet! Get a nice big container, get a worm, treat the habitat well and you have a nice, low-cost pet! Nothing wrong with someone having a worm as a pet. Nothing at all. I still haven’t done it though, I don’t think my lease will allow me to just dig a hole into the property.
8. “playlist for running except its anime songs”
Anime characters always look so effortless and speedy when they run! I want to experience that! Figured method acting was the way to go, though I haven’t tried it out yet as I have not ran in many months. Whoops.
7. “CANDLE BLOW-ER OUTER…use the membrane switch module to type in a timer for when the fan starts to blow”
I have this robotics kit that I like to play around with from time to time when I have the time, energy and remember that I even have it (lol). One of my roommates asked me to make her a “candle blower outer,” so from what I had in my kit like a fan, motor, breadboard, battery and others, I was able to make it for her! Using the lid or your own mouth is definitely more effective … like much more effective … but it was fun to learn how to do and present a one-of-a-kind item to her.
6. “squidopolis…squidillia…mount squidmore…squidasaurus rex…squintin tarentino…old squiddonald…squidmas”
If you’re beyond confused reading that, I have a very reasonable explanation! The aforementioned roommate is named Sydney and one of her nicknames is “Squid.” So, being the Aquairus rising I am, I decided to make a list in my Notes of every variation of “Squid” I could think of to call her whenever I saw her. She doesn’t live in the apartment much so there’s only a few here—such wasted potential!
5. “door…holes covered…sheet over head”
I don’t even know what this is! I have no idea what this means, what it was meant to mean or why I wrote it on January 29 at 11:57 p.m. Though besides its pointlessness I will absolutely not be deleting it, I will hold onto it forever and cherish the mystery.
4. “scooby doo 2 is the greatest movie of all time”
This requires no explanation, it is a known fact. Next!
3. “thanks mama for being so fishy to the fish…i need more fish from you…bring back my squirrels…i know how to eat a stage…shes fish”
I think it was season six of “Rupaul’s Drag Race” where the drag queens kept using “fish” in sentences and I had no idea what was happening! I was in agony over what it meant. The drama, the excitement, the convolutedness … I loved every second of it. Apparently it means something like “woman,” which makes so much sense somehow, I’m sure.
2. Stankball
I don’t know!!! Could not tell you what or why! Such a mystery!
1. “Underwhere?”
This is the title of a song I sang when putting away laundry one day and the (unfinished) lyrics are also written in this note. They are:
“Underwear
You’re gonna wear it under where?
Well I’ll tell ya it is under there
And therefore it is underwear
Now is an undershirt underwear?
You tell me, is it exposed to air?
That’s not fair you know I shouldn’t stare
Then that’s how you know its underwear”
This is going to be a part of an album my roommate and I are working on, so no one steal these beautifully crafted lyrics!
All of my other notes are either detailed reminders or my passwords to things so … will not be listing them here! I hope you feel encouraged to scroll through your own notes or start writing fun and deranged ones!