I fell in love with my best friend during my final years of high school, but I should have given him a chance sooner.
Jackson and I met in the tenth grade. At the time, he hated me and I hated him. I thought that he was some arrogant, privileged white boy while he thought that I was a “Jesus-freak”. Neither of us remembers when or how our friendship truly began, but we’re both glad that it did.
Like a cliché romantic comedy, our friendship would eventually grow into something more. Except, I was the antagonist of our love story. The basic plot of any rom-com consists of two characters meeting, temporarily separating, then ultimately reuniting. While I never separated us, I was the obstacle in our relationship.
Never once did I intentionally mean to hurt Jackson, but I know that repeatedly friend-zoning him did. He and I were inseparable. We had no secrets, spent every day together and oh, did I mention that we’re neighbors? Nevertheless, I refused to date him after he confessed his feelings for me.
I loved Jackson, but I wouldn’t allow myself to be in love with him. From me not wanting to break the girl code after he dated my friend, to not being over my ex, I came up with every excuse not to be with Jackson romantically. These excuses were all cover-ups for what I was truly afraid of — losing Jackson entirely.
Jackson was my world and I thought that a potential breakup would destroy us, that a relationship would ruin everything. Around him, I could be my complete self. There was no one else who better understood me and made me happy, so the thought of losing him was terrifying. Jackson and I are polar opposites and I feared it would be detrimental to a relationship.
Despite our differences, Jackson thought we’d be a power couple and that dating would add a new dynamic to our friendship, but I didn’t feel the same. Being an anxious overthinker, I focused on the worst: What if I didn’t meet his expectations? What if we broke up and our friendship couldn’t be salvaged? I couldn’t risk losing what we had.
Jackson pursued me for nearly two years. No one had ever treated me so well in my life, however, I wouldn’t give in. Eventually, he gave up and went out with someone else. When he did, I experienced newfound jealousy. Jackson had talked about and dated other girls before, and I had always been supportive, not jealous. When I realized I was jealous, I thought about what I wanted, and it was Jackson.
Throughout the years, I endured personal issues, drama, health concerns, and through it, all people came and went, but not him. Jackson was always there for me. That’s how I knew I was in love with him.
Jackson and I have been dating for over a year now, and I couldn’t be happier. We always ask each other, “Did you ever think we’d be here?” and say no but are so grateful that we are. I couldn’t imagine life without him. Although I still fear what would happen if we were to break up, especially since he’s moving across the country in a few months, I try to focus on the good. If I hadn’t given Jackson a chance I would’ve missed out on our love story and all the amazing memories we’ve made together.
If your best friend confesses feelings for you, take a chance on love. They might just be the one.