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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at U Iowa chapter.

3.5 years ago I started college at Iowa and to say that my experience has changed me as a person would be the understatement of the century. I graduate in 2 weeks and I’ve looked forward to this moment more times than not, but as the date is approaching I’ve found myself nostalgic for the memories that I’ve made here. 

As this is my final article for HerCampus I wanted it to be a culmination of all of my experiences. I wanted to write it as if I was looking at my life right now, through the eyes of the girl that walked onto campus 3.5 years ago. 

So let’s take a trip and see all that’s happened. 

In the first week of college I called my mom crying because I hadn’t made any friends. The girl that said she’d eat with me at the dining hall, ghosted me and then I later saw her with a bunch of people while I ate by myself. I wish that version of me would’ve known that she would probably never be alone again because she now has a group of friends that want to see her every day. People that force her to go to brunch early to talk about the terrible date she went on and drink bottomless mimosas. 

I found out my high school boyfriend was cheating on me and broke up with him in a scathing message that I am still proud of to this day. It inspired one of my first real pieces of writing that led me to writing all of these wonderful articles. 

mental health signs on a fence
Photo by Dan Meyers from Unsplash
I started dating the first boy I met at college. He masked his true intentions and his true self – manipulating me in every way. He assaulted me, got kicked out of our dorm, eventually our school and dragged me through my own personal version of hell. He shattered every piece I had left me of at the time. I wish the girl that laid in her bed crying every day and feared for her safety could’ve known that he’d be in jail with multiple felony convictions and she’d be living her best life and right on track to graduate despite how many times she thought she wouldn’t. 

I sat through every meal served in the dining hall recapping the events of my friends and I’s Saturday nights on Sunday mornings. 

I had almost every class every semester with a girl that I am lucky to call one of my favorite people. I wish that the version of me that met her first semester freshman year would’ve known that she was sitting next to her best friend. 

I spent so many nights in gross frat basements where my shoes stuck to the floor and drank jungle juice made with everclear. At the time I still felt too in my head and had a hard time rationalizing going out on weekdays. I look back and loved every second of those nights – even the seconds I spent tripping over cinder blocks and taking care of my friends. 

Marvin Meyer via Unsplash
I joined a sorority and met many of my life-long best friends from it. I lived in a room with 7 other people called the zoo – which is actually a really accurate name for it. The 7 of us studied til 2 a.m. at the library together, online shopping, laughing and posting pictures of this random guy we know all over the building. I wish that version of me had known those friends wouldn’t always be around so I would’ve been more present in those moments.  

I went to formals and was voted “Most Likely to get Catfished,” which is still extremely accurate. 

I made a lot of mistakes with a lot of boys.

I dropped the sorority and saved so much money because of it. I also had the freedom to post whatever I wanted on social media after I dropped. 

I went on so many trips with different groups of friends throughout the years and I LOVED every single one of them. I dyed my hair bright blue and went to Lollapalooza. I went to Mexico twice, saw Nelly on New Years Eve, forgot to pay my tab, danced on stage at Coco Bongo (much to our body guards dismay), ate the best tacos ever for 25 cents and drank so many shots people kept track with tallies on my arm.

I lived with my childhood best friend and found a second home at his Aunt’s house in Solon. She became my Iowa City mom and helped me navigate through every season of life that I had here. 

I went on spring break to PCB with only my best friend that goes to Coe and what felt like 100 of her friends that I didn’t know and it is the best vacation I almost didn’t go on. I went to Arizona, thought I broke my foot a morning after going out and regained a lot of friendships that I had thought I lost. 

You all read about this one – I fell in love with a boy that I met on Tinder. Moved across the country for 3 months to live with his family and then moved in with him in Iowa City. I thought we were going to get married. 

He broke my heart before a global pandemic hit. I spent months thinking I would never be the same again and that a piece of myself was gone forever. I wish that version of myself would’ve known that almost a year later, she’d be the happiest she’d ever been and that it does actually get better. 

I stopped speaking to my best friend because of said boy. Rebuilding our friendship while we were still in college is one of the things I am the most thankful for. She is one of the main reasons that I am the way I am, the main reason I got through my breakup, and the person I am so lucky to call my family. 

I wrote 30+ articles on this amazing platform and I am grateful to anyone who has ever taken the time to read about my life. Being able to share my stories and have an audience to listen is the main reason that I pursued a degree in journalism. It is the reason that I am applying to jobs to become a *professional* magazine contributor. To anyone that’s ever resonated with one of my articles and sent me encouraging messages – You affirmed that my love for writing was more than a passion project and that it meant something to someone.

I partied, dartied, laughed, cried, yelled, celebrated, puked in my jacket on party buses, fought and made up with my friends, lost myself, went to therapy, found myself, moved in with 4 boys who are now my absolute favorite people, and graduated early in the middle of a global pandemic. 

Photo courtesy of Pexels.

It was in all of these moments that I grew into myself. While there are hard moments here that seemed to last forever, there are so many more beautiful moments that shined through and made my college experience worth every penny. I am still learning and growing more and more into the woman that I’d like to be as each day passes – but as I finish this article and college I have to say that I am happy with who I am and where I’m at in life. Most of all I am proud of my accomplishments and the memories that I have made. 

Thanks for following me on this journey the past few years and hopefully you’ll be reading my writing on another platform sometime soon! 

 

Payten Little is in her senior year at Iowa majoring in Journalism and Creative Writing. She was the Creative Director for Her Campus at Iowa and loved that she had the ability to curate article ideas for her team, but is taking a step back to focus on her final semester of writing. She hopes to soon move out of the Midwest and to the East Coast to pursue her passion in magazine writing or social media marketing. She believes everyone has a story worth telling and a voice that needs to be heard.
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