We’ve all been there and, if you haven’t, you probably will soon- the somewhat quarter-ish life crisis. The “what am I going to do now that I’m no longer 21 and only getting older?” very very rude awakening.
Every year since my 15th birthday I eagerly looked forward to the next. One year closer to 18- one year closer to being an “adult” (LOL that’s the biggest misconception, no one really masters adulting and, if you do, please enlighten all of us on how). Then, it’s the eternal wait to be 21- to finally be able to go anywhere and do anything (except rent certain cars but, that’s rather inconsequential). The first two months after my 21st birthday was a whirlwind of fun. Then, COVID hit. I definitely will not begin to complain about having lost a social nightlife because of it, because people have lost so much more during this time. Although, yes, we’ve all experienced losses regardless of how “big” or “small,” and any feeling of loss is valid.
Before my 22nd birthday, I spent the prior 10 months in quarantine- no social dancing, no seeing my groups of friends, and definitely not much drinking because my tolerance plummeted. It’s a miracle if I can make it past one glass of wine at this point.
The last month before my birthday was an agonizing dread. Regardless of how many times I listened to Taylor Swift’s “22,” I couldn’t get excited about becoming older. What more is there to look forward to? As I expressed this to my friends, I realized many of us were experiencing the same feeling- as if we were all on a fast train to getting older and there weren’t any exciting stops left. Of course, we’ve arrived at the thankfully inescapable stop where we realize that there is, indeed, so much to look forward to. Here are some of my personal epiphanies:
1. The older I get, the better I am at managing my reactions to others.
Odds are, you can remember at least one moment in your teen years where you became so upset at your parents that it felt like the end of the world. For me, the biggest gut-wrenching moment at the time was when my strict Cuban parents didn’t let me go on an actual date (without supervision) with my boyfriend at the time of over a year. We both cried enough tears to drown in, and our screams, surely, were heard all over the world.
Of course, six years later, at 22 years old, some things have changed. For one, I have full control over my dating life. Secondly, I’ve learned not to let my family’s expectations, judgments, and misconceptions affect me as much. At this point, I’ve accepted that some ideas of theirs will probably never change, and that’s okay because, ultimately, it is I who has authority over my life. This applies not only to familiar relationships but to any sort of reactions related to others- bosses, employees, acquaintances, even just random strangers on the internet.
2. I will create a space of my own and enjoy my independence. And, once that happens, there will be no turning back. I can dance in my underwear while I cook pasta and drink wine for the rest of my life.
Disclaimer: there is nothing wrong with deciding to continue living with or to move back in with your family if that’s what makes you happy or what you need to do. For me, however, it has been a dream to become fully financially independent in my own little 70s inspired apartment, and I cannot imagine a life where I don’t do that within the next year. Look at that! Something to look forward to for 23! That definitely hasn’t been possible during college, but it does become possible after graduation. Maybe that’s when “adulting” actually happens- five years after becoming an “adult.”
3. Chic style phases!
If you also feel as if you have six different style personalities, this one is for you.
I definitely don’t dress nearly as modest now as I’d like to in my 30s. And that makes me excited to do so! I fully intend on giving off all of the European-chic businesswoman, writer, and attorney aesthetics- blazers, high-neckline tops, handbags, closed-toed heels! I sometimes even picture myself as a grey-haired lady in her 70s at a bookstore wearing a cardigan, stretchy pants, trendy glasses, and loafers. I call it grandma chic. Of course, one should always wear what they feel like, and I don’t doubt that if after my 20s I feel like wearing a strappy crop top and a mini skirt with gogo boots, I will.
4. Becoming a food and wine connoisseur.
At the moment, I’m mostly fluent in pizza, tacos, and cereal. I am very ready to attend more dinners all over the world and explore countless wineries while reading a book (for pleasure, for once) without worrying about a discussion board post due tomorrow. I don’t know what will taste better- the wine or the relief.
5. Working out more often.
Okay, this one is definitely my fault for not accomplishing it during undergrad but, sometimes, school just becomes too much. The more I tried to implement exercise into my routine, the worse I felt at not going through with it. It felt great to give it up altogether, as terrible as that may sound. The older I get, the better I’ll become at balancing (or at least that’s what we all hope for). It’s exciting to think about all the fitness methods to explore- boxing, yoga, weight training, pilates!
6. There is so much more life to live.
Life doesn’t stop at 21. Simple as that.